I can't believe we just passed the 10 month point. 10 months and 3 days ago....I was at work. An announcement from the local news station came over my phone. It said that an announcement had been made, my husbands plant would be closing. We were only 2 years into paying on our house. My job wasn't enough to pay all of our bills. We had just bought a new vehicle in December because our truck was on it's way towards dying. My son was stationed just 5 hours away in Kansas with the Army and we were making monthly trips to see him.
We had our wedding planned for October. There I sat. These men and women that worked there didn't even have the time to call their families to let them know. They had walked into work that morning and were met with security. They knew something was going on. The announcement was made and it hit the news before they could even notify their families and let their families know in person. I felt horrible. Would our wedding happen. Would we have to give it up? Yes, I was married before but, my husband had never been. I wanted that day with him. But, we were going to have to find out what was going on.
We had brought our save the dates to Easter. Now what. We had no information for weeks. No idea what to do. Move it up not, then we heard the earliest the layoffs would happen was September. So, we moved the wedding up to August. We lost our deposit on our hall because they could not accomodate the move. So we changed it. Kept our church but had the reception in a much smaller area and made it family only. We did our own catering and we had some amazing friends who gave us our cakes as a gift. (We are masters of pulled pork now).
We put all of our wedding money aside to cover costs. Thank goodness we did. We looked around for a job for him. There just wasn't one. I prayed on it. And I just had this feeling that this was a god thing. I made the decision although I like to have my fingers in things, I was going to let go and let God take care of it. A buyer came forward for our home. We did have to pay some to close on our home. But we voyaged south to Alabama. Before we moved, I had done some research on churches. I found this amazing church. I reached out to them. They seemed so excited to have us come to their church. Out of nowhere they stated that they were really struggling with Music Ministry. I prayed on that. Was that a path for me. I spoke to our church Music person, as well as two friends who do music ministry. They all said that I would do well and really prepared me for that prospect. Then when we got down here, I messaged them to let them know that we were here. The new response was short and basically said well, they had already found a couple singers and they were working out their music issues.
I kept praying for some sort of sign. Then we closed on our house here. I got busy unpacking and making our house a home. Then I hit this point where I was just overwhelmed. And we decided to go to our friend's church. I needed the connection to god to be a little stronger. I felt like I wasn't communicating with him right or I was doing something wrong. I was struggling. I was lost. We went to the first service and left really enjoying it. They mentioned a newcomers class. We went the following Sunday and the Sunday after that.
The minister asked about our questions. I asked about getting involved with the church. Where are they needing things. He said that they are really trying to grow the church. He asked if there was anything that I felt called to. I advised him that Music Ministry is my calling. He mentioned they had been working on having a point person as music ministry and that would be coming soon and then discussed that a little and moved on. Initially I thought maybe that was meant for me. Maybe this was the path. I was told by someone later that they thought someone had already been offered the position. So I was kind of heart broken. I'm not going to lie.
I sincerely felt like this was my calling. Music is my life. My connection to music is in the base of my spirit. I find god when I need him through music. I have a youtube favorites list of music of all kinds but my Christian Hymns and Contemporary music is my calming vibe. I have prayed so hard on how to be completely calm and wait for God to give me a job. I have worked so many jobs that I didn't love. I just really would like to spend the rest of my life loving my job. But I will just keep praying.
God has something in store for me. I know part of the reason I am struggling to find a job is my age. I know I am 40. But I am healthy and I am so hardworking. I just want to be in a job I love. I want to help wherever I work continue to reach their goals. I want to achieve more than what I have. I want to work at a job that makes me feel like I make a difference to someone.
No comments:
Post a Comment