I was a single parent for a lot of my children's lives. I remarried their dad when They were in 7th and 8th grade (after splitting when they were 3 and 4). I know what was I thinking. See he had anger management issues. After really not being around for a few years and not paying support, he had told me he had been in counseling and had really realized what he had done. I, like an idiot, believed him. After 2 years of making sure he had changed and watching for red flags (which were there again I just didn't see them again) I did remarry him. Which renigged any child support he owed in arrears (which was a LOT). I definitely should not have.
All of that being said in 2011, early Christmas morning I woke up from the couch (where I was sleeping because he would lock himself into the bedroom so I couldn't sleep on the bed...long story. Anyhow, I woke up to him carrying things out of the house. Now the old me would have wanted to see what he was taking. The older and more mature me, said it is stuff if he took anything I need, I can replace it. And he was leaving without saying goobye to his kids. Just taking off.
In the divorce it didn't matter that he sold the truck that was ours or that he had my car repossessed because he didn't want his name on it. Instead of asking me to refi. Didn't matter that he had cleaned my paycheck out of the bank because he kept quitting jobs. He got to keep all that. But I was awarded child support. When we went to court for contempt.....he sent a $100 check and the judge said look he is trying to pay. Then that was it. Fast Forward from April 2012 to current not a single penny has been paid.
So then I am faced with what to do. My children have both turned 18. I have worked 2 and three jobs their entire lives to make sure they had everything they needed. Hoping all the time that I would eventually get income from him to help do that. It never came. So now my attorney said, court wants to revoke his license. I actually had to think about it. Then it hit me. I can't say no. I have been non confrontational on this entire thing. I have just let things slide for 21 years. I have to stand up for myself and get back some of what I have lost over the years or given up. So, I said go for it.
Then I thought to myself. If the roles were reversed I would never have missed a payment. I would on top of that have been sending my children money and things they needed. How does someone get to a point where they just don't care about their children. One time he had said, well I was never worried about child support because I know she is a good mom and she will make sure they have what they need.
When did it start happening that people thought the other person should bear 100% of all responsibility? Trust me I know not all parents are like this. I know it is only a percentage. Most dads spend every moment with their kids and when they can't are heart broken. But they are looked at as no better than the dads like my ex who don't contact their children and don't pay support.
My children are both so hurt by his actions I can't even start to tell you how much he has hurt them. I can't fix that at all. And that bugs me...but, I also know it is his decision to turn into this horrible person and his friends that are supporting him and believing his lies.....well....guess they will find out in due time.
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