In May 2014, I found out by an urgent news update from the local news station in Quincy, IL that my husbands plant would be closing 150 people would be losing their job. My husband wasn't even given the chance to tell me himself. (Not my husband at that time but...). We talked about it. We prayed about it. (Yes I pray and I am a Christian although I am sure some people will think I'm not based on the way I think). I said well God has a plan for us. We just have to wait and see what it was.
We urgently moved up the wedding. Lost our deposit on our dream reception hall. Downsized the wedding to just family and went for it early. Had to let the church pick a date because we needed to move it up significantly. But we didn't know if he would have a job. They were talking about layoffs starting in September. So August it was. Praying that we would find a job for him. Praying that things would work out. He started asking around, I did too. Did anyone have openings. What we got back is well this company is hiring but, they are also stating that there may be layoffs and those positions may not be filled. We heard sure we will hire you for half what you make now.
Yes the prospect of any job should have been good. Here in lies the problem. My job ran anywhere from 8 am to 6 pm. My schedule changed weekly. I had already been trying to find a second job so that we could try to do the debt free thing using my second job but no one could work around my schedule. We had a house payment, we had just bought a van a few months before the announcement and it would ruin our credit to lose it. It just all seemed too much. But I just kept praying.
Then we got the moving information and the offer to move to Alabama. I felt like it would be easier for me to look for a new job than it would be for him. I didn't have 17 years invested with a company that I would lose. And although probably a pay cut, the cost of living is a little lower and I just prayed. I told my husband whatever decision he made, I would follow him or I would stay there with him and we would figure it out. He decided we would go to Alabama.
This was going to be hard. I had already moved away from most of my family but, I had only in the last few years developed a relationship with my brothers and my mother (that is for another post). My husband had always lived with his parents till I met him. His entire family lives there and he doesn't have any family anywhere else really.
So we agreed to move. My husband came down here and picked out a house for us. We moved down here lived in temporary housing. None of our stuff was with us to speak of. Alone, no vehicle for some time and just lost. Then we got to the new house. We started unpacking. We tried to get out and about but it has been hard. I can't tell you how many positions I have applied for. And nothing. I get calls from Monster.com. Positions that are in Mobile. In and of itself that doesn't seem bad, however, the closest one is about 40 minutes away without traffic. So that could lead to an hour to an hour and a half each way if there is an accident or traffic. I really was not wanting to do that. I sincerely would prefer a 15 - 20 minute drive. Plus there are bridges so many bridges and well, to be honest bridges petrify me.
So I wait. My son comes home on Sunday because he was injured while serving in the army. We will be a full house. And I am not able to sleep and feel like I am functioning on borrowed energy. Just stressed out at this point. I really need to find a job. Have social interactions.
And then there is the whole find a church thing. Oy sincerely, the way some people in the south think just scares the bejeebers out of me. I had posted that I felt like it was a good thing that they were going to allow gay marriage in Alabama and I was literally attacked by 112 people telling me I was going to hell. I was a horrible person. No way I was a Christian. I was like where have I moved to that they have twisted the bible so much. My bible says to love one another. Love the sinner not the sin. In no way should I judge anyone else just myself. And I will continue to live that way. Period.
Well enough complaining. I am letting go. I am letting god. But that rock bottom looks pretty close. I am praying he finds me the right job so that I can start contributing to the household. I sincerely do not wish to just be sitting here not contributing financially to my family. I have always worked since I was 15. So although I am kicking and screaming I am trying to let go and let god. It is just getting harder while pushing in on a year.
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