When I was younger I had a boyfriend. We were together for years. He went to the Persian Gulf the first war. We had gotten 'engaged' before he went. It was actually pretty amazing. I was working for his parents. He came home on leave. He showed me his leave paperwork and it said his leave reason was to get engaged. I remember being so in love with him. I remember I was in high school. I was head over heels. I was sure we would get married. I knew I loved him. What did I love about him? Everything. I loved his smile. I loved that serving our country was something he was proud to do. I loved his honor and his integrity. I loved being around him and I missed him when he was gone. I remember writing these letters to him while he was serving. Using my work money to buy paper and stamps and spraying the letters with perfume (not realizing he could get made to do extra stuff when he got them). Sealing them with a kiss and sending them off. Waiting for a letter from him. I only got a couple. I was worried but understood. He was in the Army. He couldn't write all the time. Then came the call just after a Christmas break. I was so excited that he was going to be home in time for prom. I couldn't wait to start planning prom together. I hadn't been to a prom and I was ready to celebrate my prom with the man I loved.
I got a phone call. A man said that my fiancee (He used his name and did not refer to him as my fiancee) had given him my number. Said that he was moving to the area and was hoping I could show him around, show him where the fun places were to go etc etc. I told him absolutely! He stated they had served together. We talked for a little bit and then he said the words I will never forget, Yeah when I was at his wedding.....the world stopped. My world stopped. I remember him asking why I got quiet. Then he realized that this guy and I had been more than just friends. He apologized. I never heard from him again. I remember falling to the floor. I remember my chest literally hurting. I remember a few days later getting a call from my ex...yes my ex. A married man can't be your fiancee. He told me he hadn't gotten any letters from me. He figured I had moved on. I made a decision at that time that for me life was over. I thought about ending it. I thought about a lot of things. I wasn't anyone without him. I was no one. I was heartbroken.
Another man I loved and adore I met a few years later. I wanted nothing to do with him. He was the brother of one of my friends. He was also in the Army. I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with him. But his smile kind of got me. I pretended like it didn't. I tried to friend zone him hard. But he asked if he could write to me and I said ok. He started writing to me with a card. All it said was I love you. Yeah for me it had been love at first sight but, well, I didn't believe in that either. But when I got that card....it felt destined. Yes I was a hopeless romantic. A college student. We talked all the time. We wrote letters all the time. I moved up to college and a horrible situation happened. I got raped. From that rape I later found out I had also become pregnant. I had a lot on my plate. He went out drinking and somehow found himself married to some woman he got married to when he was drunk. He couldn't handle that he had not been there for me.
I felt like I was back with the first person I loved. A man who would just go off and marry someone else. He got his marriage annulled which took a while but I really thought we were back on track. I went down to visit him. We talked about our future. Then I came home. I advised him I wanted him to take one week. Make sure he was ok with raising this baby I was pregnant for because I refused to have an abortion. For me it was not an option. Since I didn't have my actual parents growing up adoption was also out of the question. So I was raising this baby. I said take a week. Make sure you are ready for this. Then let me know. We had a plan. I was going to finish out the school term and then move with him. It was a plan or so I thought. We talked. He told me he loved me. I thought everything was on target. Until......he apparently had been home for Chrsitmas. I never saw him. Didn't know he was even in town. I had bumped into his sister when I hadn't heard from him in December. Here I am ready to tell my family I am leaving...and nothing. Then his sister said, yeah him and his girlfriend came up to visit for Christmas. I said oh that's nice. I hadn't heard from him. And a comment was made and she said his girlfriend is very nice don't screw this up for him. Obviously saying the family was not open for me to be part of it. So I stepped back. I let him have his life. I literally married the next guy I dated.
My life was over. He abused me, was arrested once. I went to a church and started waking up a little and then I wasn't allowed to go to church any more and No one from church checked on me. Even the women who knew I got abused sometimes. Why wouldn't they have checked on me. I was so alone until I finally woke up one day and finally figured out a way to leave where he wouldn't realize I was leaving and I ran for the hills. I dated some guys. None were the man of my dreams. Many were just users and such. I made a lot of wrong moves looking for someone to love.
I met a guy online. He seemed really nice. He was absolutely against abuse against woman and had been cheated on so I was sure he woudn't do the same to someone else. Guess again. Not only that when I started calling him on his cheating, he started accusing me. Telling everyone all around town I had boyfriends etc etc. Never did. He got his reputation kept clean while smearing mine. In comes husband number 1. Says he is going to fix everything. That he understands what he had done 10 years before. There I am being shunned by my former friends. Not knowing that the one friend that I thought I had had been sleeping with my husband as well. Just didn't know what else to do and was so lost I went for it and moved to Colorado. I thought I would be able to start over. At least my son would get to know his dad who had been absent and I figured I was in a better place if he started abusing me again. (crazy isn't it that it would seem normal that someone might abuse me?)
Yeah I was not mentally well. The way I saw it the two men I had given my love to completely had both seen fit to just move on to someone else that they married. I wasn't good enough. See I got myself into an unworthy head space. The rape did NOT help me. I felt like I was worthless. I should preface that my first boyfriend ever also cheated on me and is now married to her. And the boyfriend I had in the middle there also cheated on me with a friend of mine. So I learned really quickly that in the end of it all, the guys that I gave my heart to only wanted to screw it over.
I look back now and I think, why didn't I value me. My mother lost custody of me when I was little. When my grandmother got mad at me, she would tell me I was a liar like my mother when I wasn't lying at all. I learned that I was useless. You know what saved me from myself. God did. Yes, I will always be somehow in love with the two men that walked away to someone else. If they came back to me and said I love you and I want to be with you....it would be hard to not at least entertain that idea. I loved them completely and with everything I was. I loved them with everything I knew. My love for them was legitimate.
Yes I am married now. I have a great husband. He is very kind he doesn't beat me and he doesn't cheat on me. But somehow I wonder sometimes where the love is that I felt for Mr. 1 and Mr. 2. Sometimes I feel like a best friend or roommate in my own home. I pray daily that god will show this man the desire I need for him to have as my husband and the things I need. I try to tell him but it always comes out wrong because I feel like I am being selfish. Do I love him. Yes I do. Is that deep love that you feel for someone only for people who will treat me wrong? Is the love I feel for my husband an adult love? Something different than that severe happiness you have to see someone. Maybe it is because 1 & 2 were gone a lot. When we did see each other, it was more get as much time as I could in. Im not sure. Maybe no one really understands love. Maybe no one really ever teaches you what love is supposed to feel. The movies show that love I had for 1 and 2 but that is all just theater and drama. I don't know that I know the answer.
When you feel love for someone, what is it. Is it just happy to see them or talk to them. Does true love feel like a best friend you can tell anything too? Or does it feel like a person that you can desire and you smile just thinking about them. Or is it the person who drives you absolutely insane. I don't know the answer but I am curious what my readers take is.
Not gonna lie. I will always love Mr. 1 and Mr. 2. They will always have a piece of my heart. They took it even though they broke it. I don't know why. Maybe its because they were truly someone I love everything about. The broken pieces and the healed pieces of them. Their eyes when they smile and their smiles when they laugh. I love those same things about my husband. But if I was put in a room with either of them and him I don't know I would love either of them more than the other. Ironically the things I adore and love about one are completely different than the things I love about the other. Yeah it sounds bad I guess that I would even think about it. But I treasure these past relationships. I treasure the love I felt for them. I treasure them.
Before anyone says anything. No I am not saying I would leave my husband for them. I am just publicly wondering why love is different as an adult than it is when you are younger. I met my current husband when I was 37. I do love him. But there are things I would improve. I always ask him if there is anything I could do differently and he says no I do everything he would ever want a wife to do. I feel selfish sometimes wishing for some things that don't happen. And some of it is stuff that most women never have an issue with. Part of the problem probably is my husband has never been married before. I don't know how to teach him to be a husband in some of the ways a man should be a husband because well his family was a little different. Things weren't done the normal way. Maybe part of it is wishing for some of the things when I was with them that made me happy. Little things they did or said. Without knowing how much it meant. I just miss those things. That is what is missing. But is that grown up love or is that just things someone needs to learn. I don't want to ask for flowers. But I'd like some. I don't want to ask for a just because card, bud I'd like one.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Rant: Agendas need to stop before we lose our country and our lives......
What is our world coming to? Here is the thing, I am a Christian. I have friends who are Buddhist, Jewish, Agnostic. I don't judge people by the religion they follow for the most part. I will not post my views on Islam or Sharia law here. I do not want to become a target or someone who is injured by others based on my feelings for how they treat women or how they view me and anyone who is not Islamic. That being said, the only time I have ever felt attacked about my religion has been by specific people over specific topics.
For example, I very much believe that any private religious organization should be allowed to display things that reference their religion in a public location if they pay for it. I would have no problem with a Jewish statue or display, I have enjoyed seeing Kwanzaa displays during Christmas etc. When I grew up the multiple faiths would display things everywhere and it was nice to see diversity in action living together in harmony. Then, one day a woman decided that since she was atheist, there should not be a moment of silence in the morning. And the judges said, "oh if your child feels like they are being forced to pray then no they shouldn't have prayer." Growing up I went to a public school. We always had a moment of silence in the am. For some people it was a time for prayer, for others, it was a time to just center themselves and get ready for the day. It was a nice thing. It was turned into something horrible.
Now, religion is under attack. Since Christians are the largest religious group in the united states they are starting big figuring the smaller ones will fall quicker if we fall. They started quietly a little thing here and a little thing there. Religion was taken out of schools and yet public colleges are installing footwashes for Muslims to pray. Well why can't we pray then? Accommodations are being made in public schools with high Muslim enrollment to have a room to pray their times during the school day. No, if a Jewish person, a Buddhist or a Christian can't pray neither can you. We may not have assigned times to do so, but still prayer is prayer. We can't have the Jewish prayer books etc or books about Buddhism or Christian topics in school libraries but books about the Muslim tenants are being found in every school library. It is all or nothing people. If you are going to allow Muslims to pray then it is time to let everyone pray.
I have seen where people attend Private Christian college and then ask that they not be able to preach that being gay is a sin. Here's the deal. OK so you are a sinner. If you are OK with who you are then why does it matter. You sin in other ways too. I sin. Daily. I don't wear white cotton. I love shrimp. I have many failings as a person. Just because you don't want it to be a sin doesn't mean in any way that it is not a sin. And until you sue a Muslim bakery for not making your cake stop suing Christians. Seriously. I do have to add that I personally have a number of friends who are gay. All of them know I am a Christian. We all sin and we all sin differently. I don't judge them by their lifestyle. I just know that if someone feels it is against their beliefs to perform a service for you, you just need to move on. My husband and I were told we couldn't marry at the Catholic church because I am divorced. Even though we were abstinent before marriage, we were told because we shared the same address, we could not marry in another church. We didn't get mad. We just found another church. That is their beliefs. That is how they function. I moved on. So don't say I don't understand being told your marriage isn't right.
Now this. I am so angry that this teacher first of all brings up God, any God, and then requires her students to denounce God or fail. The fact that the board of ed seems to be like well the principal will handle it is horrible. They should have immediately been acting on this. If for no other reason than schools are not supposed to be a place to discuss religion unless you go to a religious school. This poor little girl who is in 7th grade was attacked by a grown adult over this. Not OK. Not only should this teacher no longer teach she should be forced to apologize to these young people she attacked with her words.
No child should be told that they will fail a class if they don't agree with the teacher. Period. I pray for this little girl and her classmates who stood in their faith at such a young age. Most religions believe in a God. Although we may not believe in the same path to that god or the same guidelines, we believe in a God. This obviously atheist teacher needs an education in how to be a human.
For example, I very much believe that any private religious organization should be allowed to display things that reference their religion in a public location if they pay for it. I would have no problem with a Jewish statue or display, I have enjoyed seeing Kwanzaa displays during Christmas etc. When I grew up the multiple faiths would display things everywhere and it was nice to see diversity in action living together in harmony. Then, one day a woman decided that since she was atheist, there should not be a moment of silence in the morning. And the judges said, "oh if your child feels like they are being forced to pray then no they shouldn't have prayer." Growing up I went to a public school. We always had a moment of silence in the am. For some people it was a time for prayer, for others, it was a time to just center themselves and get ready for the day. It was a nice thing. It was turned into something horrible.
Now, religion is under attack. Since Christians are the largest religious group in the united states they are starting big figuring the smaller ones will fall quicker if we fall. They started quietly a little thing here and a little thing there. Religion was taken out of schools and yet public colleges are installing footwashes for Muslims to pray. Well why can't we pray then? Accommodations are being made in public schools with high Muslim enrollment to have a room to pray their times during the school day. No, if a Jewish person, a Buddhist or a Christian can't pray neither can you. We may not have assigned times to do so, but still prayer is prayer. We can't have the Jewish prayer books etc or books about Buddhism or Christian topics in school libraries but books about the Muslim tenants are being found in every school library. It is all or nothing people. If you are going to allow Muslims to pray then it is time to let everyone pray.
I have seen where people attend Private Christian college and then ask that they not be able to preach that being gay is a sin. Here's the deal. OK so you are a sinner. If you are OK with who you are then why does it matter. You sin in other ways too. I sin. Daily. I don't wear white cotton. I love shrimp. I have many failings as a person. Just because you don't want it to be a sin doesn't mean in any way that it is not a sin. And until you sue a Muslim bakery for not making your cake stop suing Christians. Seriously. I do have to add that I personally have a number of friends who are gay. All of them know I am a Christian. We all sin and we all sin differently. I don't judge them by their lifestyle. I just know that if someone feels it is against their beliefs to perform a service for you, you just need to move on. My husband and I were told we couldn't marry at the Catholic church because I am divorced. Even though we were abstinent before marriage, we were told because we shared the same address, we could not marry in another church. We didn't get mad. We just found another church. That is their beliefs. That is how they function. I moved on. So don't say I don't understand being told your marriage isn't right.
Now this. I am so angry that this teacher first of all brings up God, any God, and then requires her students to denounce God or fail. The fact that the board of ed seems to be like well the principal will handle it is horrible. They should have immediately been acting on this. If for no other reason than schools are not supposed to be a place to discuss religion unless you go to a religious school. This poor little girl who is in 7th grade was attacked by a grown adult over this. Not OK. Not only should this teacher no longer teach she should be forced to apologize to these young people she attacked with her words.
No child should be told that they will fail a class if they don't agree with the teacher. Period. I pray for this little girl and her classmates who stood in their faith at such a young age. Most religions believe in a God. Although we may not believe in the same path to that god or the same guidelines, we believe in a God. This obviously atheist teacher needs an education in how to be a human.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Visiting the Alabama Gulf Shores - You MUST VISIT The House of Jerky!
Back in September we were looking through a listing of stores located at the Wharf in Ocean Beach. The Wharf is a great place to go with your family as it has great places to eat and shop! It also features a HUGE Ferris Wheel. (I won't go on it because there is no way I am going that high up in the air). That being said we had noticed one that intrigued us. The House of Jerky! We were like hmmm we need to check it out. That day we were stumped for time, but this past weekend we finally got down there!
Currently it is located just off the roundabout. If you are coming in past the ferris wheel you would want to go to the right on the roundabout and you would see it on your right and side. Easy access is street parking or continue past those stores and you can park in the parking garage which allows you to walk through a breezeway just down from the shop. If you are coming in off the Exspressway bridge you will turn right before you hit the main road and just stay on that road till you come to a T. Then turn right. Stay on that road till you come to the roundabout and then follow the roundabout past the main entrance road and go sorta straight from where you came from. Then same thing road parking or follow to the parking garage at the end of the building.
You can easily see the store by the hanging sign as you are walking towards it or by the big House of Jerky wood sign over the entrance. And when you get inside you are in for a treat. The owner works his shop almost every day they are open except a couple where he has someone cover for his shop so he too can have a day off. The owner is very friendly and always has some samples available. Usually a beef sample. The fish samples are not usually available because they do smell very fishy!
He offers an amazing variety of jerky. You can get: Beef, Buffalo, Pork, Turkey, Pineapple (yeah who knew!), Alligator, Mako Shark, Salmon, Python, Elk, Venison, Wild Boar, Rabbit, and Kangaroo. He also features Biltong which is South African Beef Jerky. You really can try it all here! The packages range anywhere from 8.99 to $20. You can also get mutlipacks in the store that will offer you a great variety at a discounted price!
We purchased Python in a bag, Mako Shark in a bag, Terriyaki Buffalo in a bag and Black Pepper Kangaroo in a bag, we also got Hot and Spicy Gator in a stick, Wild Boar in a stick and Hotter than Hell Elk Stick. The sticks run about $3. So if you are only a little adventurous you still can try some amazing stuff! The jerky is not hard. It is a nice easily eaten jerky. They use a smoke to jerky the meat instead of an air dry method. So it does make it chewable. So often you buy a jerky and it is just rock hard and you have to like suck on it or break a tooth to eat it. Not the jerky from that store. They also have other items in the store like travel mugs, Kangaroo skin hats and Salt Water Taffy
We really enjoyed talking to the owner while we shopped. He is very sweet. I had such a good time hearing about the different types of jerky and how he picks where he orders from and how they make the jerky. He also really liked explaining the flavors and textures of the jerky he didn't have available for testing. He also asked questions to help match you with a jerky you may really enjoy. For example, he has a ghost pepper jerky. It is a sneaky spice. It will sneak right up on you and then doesn't go away. I am personally a Ghost Pepper lover when it comes to seasonings. We didn't get it this time but we live here so there is always time.
You can find them on Facebook here.
Not visiting the area or visited and want more? You can buy online here.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Arctic Water Wars Water Balloons
I know that it is winter. And really people are not checking out water balloons for the most part. But I really wanted to tell you about the fun we had with the ArcticTM water balloons. I got them for a discounted price on Amazon through a review offer, however when I went to the website to do my review on how much we had fun and how great these autofill balloons were, the item was gone on Amazon. I really hope they bring it back. It doesn't say why it is not on sale any longer it just gives me a page error. Makes me sad.
The colors are purple and blue. They are on 2 sets of easy fill straws each. You put a little water in the bottom of a plastic bin, rest these in there and turn on your hose. They self seal. We had a few fatalaties but overall these stayed together more than other brands we have tried. The kids had a ton of fun.
Keep your eyes open I hope these come back!
The colors are purple and blue. They are on 2 sets of easy fill straws each. You put a little water in the bottom of a plastic bin, rest these in there and turn on your hose. They self seal. We had a few fatalaties but overall these stayed together more than other brands we have tried. The kids had a ton of fun.
Keep your eyes open I hope these come back!
Time for a little Doctor in the house.....
First.....lets start with some mood music.......who doesn't love Doctorin' the Tardis;
And now....the goodies!
Some of these are new and some are not but when you are a Whovian they are all precious! First..lets start at the bottom... SOCKS!
Oh there is NOTHING better than Dr Who socks! I sincerely adore these socks! They are knee socks which normally is not my thing but its ok I will deal because they are Dr. Who. I love that one has a Tardis...one is a Tardis...one has lots of Daleks and one just has the DW symbol. They each have their own little personalities. I adore them all. I have seen a couple of these in other stores for more than what they go for on amazon but sometimes the convenience of having them right there is worth the extra few bucks.They come in a two pack with 2 different designs for 13.95. Great deal if you ask me personally plus instead of getting one pair for $10 or $12 you are getting 2 pair for $14. LOVE THESE. They are really good quality. As always I am supplying an amazon link below to the product. I did purchase these from amazon from this same seller I am posting below.
Cardboard figures. I had to have these. I did buy these at a store that speciallizes in geek stuff. Since I don't have their permission I can't list their name here...however you can get it there if it is on topic for you to stop in there. I however currently live about 40 minutes away from one and only if I am in the area do I stop in. So I am giving you the link below to find this item online if you too have a location issue as well. Lets be honest same price or cheaper on Amazon and you aren't using gas and time. Makes sense. Just saying. Now back to the figures. The back has a fold out support that allows them to stand. They are label as Mini but really they aren't. They are pretty decent size and the detail on them is great. They are tons of fun to display. I had to bring one home for the photo as it sits on my desk at work. (yes I am that geek at work!) Anyhow, they are cute. They do need some space to allow for the back of the stand but you could also just not unfold the base and use a pin to hang them up. One of my friends actually did a gorgeous frame that she matted around the figure and put things on the mat that was Dr. Who related. It was very sweet. There are lots you can do with these!
OK so then the figure in the mystery box. Im not going to lie...I was asking the Dr to speak to me and give me #4. I adore #4. Tom is my muse in life. That was the first Dr I ever saw. When I was a child, I would stay up at night and take the little rabbit ear black and white TV and turn down the volume and watch Dr. Who. No one in school knew what I was even talking about. Now so many of them are like oh I am a Whovian and I am like and if you would have listened to me...you would have been decades ago...gahhh....well I didn't get the 4th Dr. Butt hat is OK. I liked this one too. (Yes I am not really a Capaldi fan...I'm sorry. I don't know why I just can't get into him at all.)
Last but not least. Make your fridge or other metal area a Tardis. Get a Tardis police box magnet. This one is rather smallish about 3 1/2 inches but there is a larger one available at that store within the Topic above....I hope you are getting my reference on this one. So...needless to say I love mine. I proudly have it on my fridge. Mine is larger than the one listed on amazon but not by a huge amount and I did pay about 4 times the price of the one listed so....yeah to each their own on preference for size. The larger one does make it have less space for you to put anything else on your fridge but I don't have small kids that want artwork on the fridge. So for me it was a non issue. So if you want Becky's greatest art piece on there and a little Dr who reference the one listed below fits the bill!
GET YOUR SOCKS HERE!
GET YOUR TARDIS COOKIE JAR HERE!
GET YOUR MINI STANDUPS HERE!
GET YOUR MYSTERY MINIFIGURE HERE!
GET YOUR TARDIS POLICE BOX MAGNET HERE!
And now....the goodies!
Some of these are new and some are not but when you are a Whovian they are all precious! First..lets start at the bottom... SOCKS!
Oh there is NOTHING better than Dr Who socks! I sincerely adore these socks! They are knee socks which normally is not my thing but its ok I will deal because they are Dr. Who. I love that one has a Tardis...one is a Tardis...one has lots of Daleks and one just has the DW symbol. They each have their own little personalities. I adore them all. I have seen a couple of these in other stores for more than what they go for on amazon but sometimes the convenience of having them right there is worth the extra few bucks.They come in a two pack with 2 different designs for 13.95. Great deal if you ask me personally plus instead of getting one pair for $10 or $12 you are getting 2 pair for $14. LOVE THESE. They are really good quality. As always I am supplying an amazon link below to the product. I did purchase these from amazon from this same seller I am posting below.
Cardboard figures. I had to have these. I did buy these at a store that speciallizes in geek stuff. Since I don't have their permission I can't list their name here...however you can get it there if it is on topic for you to stop in there. I however currently live about 40 minutes away from one and only if I am in the area do I stop in. So I am giving you the link below to find this item online if you too have a location issue as well. Lets be honest same price or cheaper on Amazon and you aren't using gas and time. Makes sense. Just saying. Now back to the figures. The back has a fold out support that allows them to stand. They are label as Mini but really they aren't. They are pretty decent size and the detail on them is great. They are tons of fun to display. I had to bring one home for the photo as it sits on my desk at work. (yes I am that geek at work!) Anyhow, they are cute. They do need some space to allow for the back of the stand but you could also just not unfold the base and use a pin to hang them up. One of my friends actually did a gorgeous frame that she matted around the figure and put things on the mat that was Dr. Who related. It was very sweet. There are lots you can do with these!
OK so then the figure in the mystery box. Im not going to lie...I was asking the Dr to speak to me and give me #4. I adore #4. Tom is my muse in life. That was the first Dr I ever saw. When I was a child, I would stay up at night and take the little rabbit ear black and white TV and turn down the volume and watch Dr. Who. No one in school knew what I was even talking about. Now so many of them are like oh I am a Whovian and I am like and if you would have listened to me...you would have been decades ago...gahhh....well I didn't get the 4th Dr. Butt hat is OK. I liked this one too. (Yes I am not really a Capaldi fan...I'm sorry. I don't know why I just can't get into him at all.)
Last but not least. Make your fridge or other metal area a Tardis. Get a Tardis police box magnet. This one is rather smallish about 3 1/2 inches but there is a larger one available at that store within the Topic above....I hope you are getting my reference on this one. So...needless to say I love mine. I proudly have it on my fridge. Mine is larger than the one listed on amazon but not by a huge amount and I did pay about 4 times the price of the one listed so....yeah to each their own on preference for size. The larger one does make it have less space for you to put anything else on your fridge but I don't have small kids that want artwork on the fridge. So for me it was a non issue. So if you want Becky's greatest art piece on there and a little Dr who reference the one listed below fits the bill!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
REVIEW: Arctic easy fill water balloons..........
This one was one of the better releases. We got about 28 out of 35 on the strings. But you can see some of them are very small and are probably the ones that are losing water. I would say we got about 17 we could use out of this one set that was released. But they did work as far as the balloons filled very quickly. If you are someone who doesn't have a ton of time to sit and fill water balloons manually this is a great option if you don't mind having a portion of them not work. I would say hand filling balloons loses way less balloons than we did on this system. But, convenience has its costs I guess.
Overall the balloons themselves were good. They broke when they hit someone. And the kids had a blast. So either way I guess it is still a win just these are a lot more expensive than the self fills from a dollar store or big chain store. It is fun to try at least once. I don't know if I would buy them again. But it was fun for at least one try!
Monday, October 19, 2015
Giving Bloggers and Reviewers a BAD NAME. My take on reviews. Who should and shouldn't be doing it.
So big news lately in the last day or so, Amazon is suing specific reviewers. Personally I think it is about time. Now one thing I desperately want to say is just because a reviewer has a lot of 5 or 4 star reviews does NOT mean they are lying which is what a lot of the news channels are saying. There are a lot of reviewers like me.
If there is an item i really really want. For example, we wanted an Android box to be able to watch movies etc. They were retailing anywhere between $250 and $500 each. It really wasn't in our budget. So, I saw it come across open reviews. It was a discounted price for review of about half price. So yes a discount. NOT FREE. I want to stress a lot of reviewers don't get their items for free they get a discount. anywhere from 10% off to 90% off and on occasion free. I will tell you right now the only things I have gotten for free were vitamin supplement things and some essential oils. Like 2 of them. Everything else pretty much I have paid at least a dollar for.
Some reviewers who really want an item but can't afford it will reach out to sellers and say listen read my reviews. Tell me if you think you could offer me a discount on this product in exchange for my review. I have done it. There is a bag I really wanted that was Dr. Who. It was like $40 when I sent the request. It went on sale for 25. I got $5 off of it on sale by asking for the discount. I have a very high reviewer ranking (top 5,000). He agreed. I also purchased something from his store that was not on sale (a mousepad for my daughter) partially because my daughter would love it and because the sale price was listed when I got my $5 off and I felt like it was already on sale. I wanted to make it even. Not every reviewer is out to get something for nothing.
I do hear bloggers on group sites or reviewers say well I work hard to do my blog and my reviews. Well I do too but, to limit myself from getting a discount on a product I am already going to buy...just to get it for free because I won't pay to do reviews is ridiculous. I will pay for an item I was already going to buy at a discount price to be able to still get the item. For example. I wanted to get my daughter one of those 3D pens for christmas. At $100 I was on the edge of no. But I usually get my kids inexpensive gifts and then one big gift each. Then It came across my offers at a discount price that I could afford about $60. So I jumped on it. Later an offer for 50% off the refills. So I grabbed a refill too. Something I had planned on buying but had not gotten around to it.
Not all reviewers are people who are out for a buck. I have seen people talk about people who will get a discount approved and then use it over and over. Most sellers have figured this out and will make their code only good for one use instead of giving everyone the same code. This left people who could use the product from being able to get it at the discount because one person bought the entire stock out. I have seen people posting that someone is selling items we have seen people reviewing on auction sites. They don't list the site but, I am sure we can all figure out the popular ones. It makes me really mad.
I think about a friend of mine who I suggested should start reviewing. She is a single mom on a budget and needs the discounts when offered on baby clothes or diapers wipes etc. I think about people like her and people like me. We have had a rough year. When we finally get our heads almost above water..I change jobs and get a start date delay of a month. Being able to be a reviewer has saved our christmas. I am very thankful for that. However, I will also add, these people amazon is suing definitely deserve it. I was not ever afraid of my name being on there because yes I have received a bunch of items at a discount but, I have used them all or have reviewed them honestly.
I will never buy anything I don't need, I will never sell an item I have received for review. For example, I got a phone case that should have fit my sons phone based on the description. I think it was valued at $7 was on sale for $5 and I got it for $2.99. It didn't fit and so I put out an APB to my friends does anyone have that model phone that could use a cover. One of my friends happened to have one. So I gave it to her. yes I paid $3 for it. I could have asked her to reimburse me, but I didn't. I received a discount. I did my review based on seeing if it fit her phone. I always do reviews for the items I purchased. I am always honest. If it works and is a good quality but could be improved I do leave it in there as well. If I say we loved it trust me we did.
If you still see the reviewers review on Amazon today or later, you will know that these people are NOT the ones lying about the products. You may see five star reviews along with 2 star reviews. Sometimes the issue is the person who reviewed it. Sometimes the issue is a product issue the seller has fixed after a bunch of bad reviews. Sometimes a few people got a faulty product. There are lots of reasons why there could be a difference in reviews. Some people just have really high standards that most sellers can't meet. You have seen them in the store or if you have ever worked customer service I am sure you have spoken to them. How the potato wasn't the right color. They exist everywhere. Be mindful of who you read reviews from.
In the case of being completely open. Here is my reviewer profile: here. I get emails often from sellers asking me to review a product at a discounted price sometimes free. I have turned down more free products than I can list because I am not willing to take it, or I am not interested nor could I use the product. Like Iphone 6 cases. No one in my house has an Iphone 6. i have never nor will I accept a review for something that I am offered that I can't use. Just makes no sense. I can't honestly review something I have no use for. Just common logic.
So there is my rant, selfish people who won't really use it shouldn't review it. Period. People who will pick apart anything and everything should not be reviewing items. Great items get passed up because they didn't like the shade of blue so the whole thing sucked for them. The people who should review are honest people like my reviewer friends who genuinely will use the products and will review honestly. Yes they may give a lot of 4 and 5 stars because they already were looking for that item. And as a note, some sellers can delete your low rating review when you get a discount. I have 2 right now that keep getting deleted from my bad reviews. So don't assume someone hasn't done a bad review. If they gave a discount, some sellers can delete those. So it isn't all the reviewers. Just saying.
If there is an item i really really want. For example, we wanted an Android box to be able to watch movies etc. They were retailing anywhere between $250 and $500 each. It really wasn't in our budget. So, I saw it come across open reviews. It was a discounted price for review of about half price. So yes a discount. NOT FREE. I want to stress a lot of reviewers don't get their items for free they get a discount. anywhere from 10% off to 90% off and on occasion free. I will tell you right now the only things I have gotten for free were vitamin supplement things and some essential oils. Like 2 of them. Everything else pretty much I have paid at least a dollar for.
Some reviewers who really want an item but can't afford it will reach out to sellers and say listen read my reviews. Tell me if you think you could offer me a discount on this product in exchange for my review. I have done it. There is a bag I really wanted that was Dr. Who. It was like $40 when I sent the request. It went on sale for 25. I got $5 off of it on sale by asking for the discount. I have a very high reviewer ranking (top 5,000). He agreed. I also purchased something from his store that was not on sale (a mousepad for my daughter) partially because my daughter would love it and because the sale price was listed when I got my $5 off and I felt like it was already on sale. I wanted to make it even. Not every reviewer is out to get something for nothing.
I do hear bloggers on group sites or reviewers say well I work hard to do my blog and my reviews. Well I do too but, to limit myself from getting a discount on a product I am already going to buy...just to get it for free because I won't pay to do reviews is ridiculous. I will pay for an item I was already going to buy at a discount price to be able to still get the item. For example. I wanted to get my daughter one of those 3D pens for christmas. At $100 I was on the edge of no. But I usually get my kids inexpensive gifts and then one big gift each. Then It came across my offers at a discount price that I could afford about $60. So I jumped on it. Later an offer for 50% off the refills. So I grabbed a refill too. Something I had planned on buying but had not gotten around to it.
Not all reviewers are people who are out for a buck. I have seen people talk about people who will get a discount approved and then use it over and over. Most sellers have figured this out and will make their code only good for one use instead of giving everyone the same code. This left people who could use the product from being able to get it at the discount because one person bought the entire stock out. I have seen people posting that someone is selling items we have seen people reviewing on auction sites. They don't list the site but, I am sure we can all figure out the popular ones. It makes me really mad.
I think about a friend of mine who I suggested should start reviewing. She is a single mom on a budget and needs the discounts when offered on baby clothes or diapers wipes etc. I think about people like her and people like me. We have had a rough year. When we finally get our heads almost above water..I change jobs and get a start date delay of a month. Being able to be a reviewer has saved our christmas. I am very thankful for that. However, I will also add, these people amazon is suing definitely deserve it. I was not ever afraid of my name being on there because yes I have received a bunch of items at a discount but, I have used them all or have reviewed them honestly.
I will never buy anything I don't need, I will never sell an item I have received for review. For example, I got a phone case that should have fit my sons phone based on the description. I think it was valued at $7 was on sale for $5 and I got it for $2.99. It didn't fit and so I put out an APB to my friends does anyone have that model phone that could use a cover. One of my friends happened to have one. So I gave it to her. yes I paid $3 for it. I could have asked her to reimburse me, but I didn't. I received a discount. I did my review based on seeing if it fit her phone. I always do reviews for the items I purchased. I am always honest. If it works and is a good quality but could be improved I do leave it in there as well. If I say we loved it trust me we did.
If you still see the reviewers review on Amazon today or later, you will know that these people are NOT the ones lying about the products. You may see five star reviews along with 2 star reviews. Sometimes the issue is the person who reviewed it. Sometimes the issue is a product issue the seller has fixed after a bunch of bad reviews. Sometimes a few people got a faulty product. There are lots of reasons why there could be a difference in reviews. Some people just have really high standards that most sellers can't meet. You have seen them in the store or if you have ever worked customer service I am sure you have spoken to them. How the potato wasn't the right color. They exist everywhere. Be mindful of who you read reviews from.
In the case of being completely open. Here is my reviewer profile: here. I get emails often from sellers asking me to review a product at a discounted price sometimes free. I have turned down more free products than I can list because I am not willing to take it, or I am not interested nor could I use the product. Like Iphone 6 cases. No one in my house has an Iphone 6. i have never nor will I accept a review for something that I am offered that I can't use. Just makes no sense. I can't honestly review something I have no use for. Just common logic.
So there is my rant, selfish people who won't really use it shouldn't review it. Period. People who will pick apart anything and everything should not be reviewing items. Great items get passed up because they didn't like the shade of blue so the whole thing sucked for them. The people who should review are honest people like my reviewer friends who genuinely will use the products and will review honestly. Yes they may give a lot of 4 and 5 stars because they already were looking for that item. And as a note, some sellers can delete your low rating review when you get a discount. I have 2 right now that keep getting deleted from my bad reviews. So don't assume someone hasn't done a bad review. If they gave a discount, some sellers can delete those. So it isn't all the reviewers. Just saying.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Looking for a Fun Family Vacation?
Whether you are in the market for a Timeshare or not I have a trip for you! Recently on a trip to Orlando to see some visiting friends, we decided to check out a timeshare company we had heard about. Now, we have been in the market for one for a while but wasn't sure where we wanted to get one or what the pricing would be.
The ones we looked at were 2 bedrooms. Obviously they will run differently depending on where you get your timeshare and which specific location within that area you choose one. So the company we finally decided to go with is Westgate. We went with them for a few reasons. #1 - They have some great convenient locations. #2 their price was about $9,000 less than the other company I had been looking at. #3 It is yours. You own it. In your will you will need to leave it to someone it is transferrable at death. You can purchase a vacation time for your family for generations to come!
The photos you are seeing throughout this blog post are photos of the location that we chose to purchase ours from. It is beautiful and almost in the parking lot of Universal Studios. You can pretty much walk to the gate! Wet and Wild is also right there! The locations also offer shuttle services to the other parks in the area! Also most locations offer water parks of some sort or pools. You also have fully equipped kitchens and children s activities for your relaxation days. There is also an onsite gym with top of the line equipment!
One thing we noticed is that these locations are very high end. Nothing is done half way on these. It is just really well done. You feel like a celebrity when you enter. Everyone is very friendly and can answer any questions you have. Most locations also have onsite stores in case you forgot a toothbrush or need medicine or sunscreen. You really never have to leave your location! They have amazing dining options right on site.
One thing about vacations is food prices. Because you don't have to fight or pay for parking at the parks, you have the option of making breakfast in your room and then going to the park. Hop the bus back to your suite at lunch and relaxing a bit while you enjoy lunch and then go back. You really never have to be $10 for a nasty hamburger again! There are tons of grocery stores within a short drive or you can bring a cooler full of your favorite food with you if you drive to your vacation! We like to grocery shop when we get there and try stuff that maybe we don't have locally.
Another great thing about owning your timeshare is that you always have a place to stay. Now with Westgate there is a great benefit. If you don't want to use your timeshare or if you do the flex plan like we did, or if you already used your timeshare but want another vacation. You can get a discounted rate at lots of other places! You can also get discounts on cruises! Who can say no to a cruise at a discount! I am really happy with our choice and we can't wait for our first stay at OUR timeshare. Orlando here we come for a WEEK! (Plus we got a bonus week so looks like 2 weeks in 2016!
Now for the fun part. Even if you don't want to get a timeshare I can offer you a GREAT FUN long weekend with your family. You can choose Orlando, FL-, Las Vegas, NV, Myrtle Beach, SC, Branson, MO, Gatlinburg, TN, Park City (Utah), Williamsburg, VA or Miami, FL. $99 for 4 days and 3 nights! They will ask you to attend a showing of their units and information on the location but you don't HAVE to go. All you have to do is either call 888-608-9570 or go to www.WestgateReservations.com/OHO and give them this reference number 71545965130. They will set you up at any of those locations for any 4 day 3 night stay.
Now you can get larger than a single room. If you upgrade to multiple bedrooms etc. They can give you those prices I believe it goes up about $100 for each additional bedroom but I am not positive on that one. I am soo excited to offer this to you guys because family time is so very important! So don't miss out and be sure to pass this discount on to your friends. Don't pay $1000 just for your hotel. (yes i have priced some of these places for hotels) And hey when you go to the let me show you how our timeshare works they give you a free breakfast! And you can get a free breakfast get the info and then tell them you are not interested. But you will have the info for when you are. I am so excited for you to try this out! I hope to see lots of photos in the comments from YOUR 4 day 3 night vacation discount!
The ones we looked at were 2 bedrooms. Obviously they will run differently depending on where you get your timeshare and which specific location within that area you choose one. So the company we finally decided to go with is Westgate. We went with them for a few reasons. #1 - They have some great convenient locations. #2 their price was about $9,000 less than the other company I had been looking at. #3 It is yours. You own it. In your will you will need to leave it to someone it is transferrable at death. You can purchase a vacation time for your family for generations to come!
The photos you are seeing throughout this blog post are photos of the location that we chose to purchase ours from. It is beautiful and almost in the parking lot of Universal Studios. You can pretty much walk to the gate! Wet and Wild is also right there! The locations also offer shuttle services to the other parks in the area! Also most locations offer water parks of some sort or pools. You also have fully equipped kitchens and children s activities for your relaxation days. There is also an onsite gym with top of the line equipment!
One thing we noticed is that these locations are very high end. Nothing is done half way on these. It is just really well done. You feel like a celebrity when you enter. Everyone is very friendly and can answer any questions you have. Most locations also have onsite stores in case you forgot a toothbrush or need medicine or sunscreen. You really never have to leave your location! They have amazing dining options right on site.
One thing about vacations is food prices. Because you don't have to fight or pay for parking at the parks, you have the option of making breakfast in your room and then going to the park. Hop the bus back to your suite at lunch and relaxing a bit while you enjoy lunch and then go back. You really never have to be $10 for a nasty hamburger again! There are tons of grocery stores within a short drive or you can bring a cooler full of your favorite food with you if you drive to your vacation! We like to grocery shop when we get there and try stuff that maybe we don't have locally.
Now for the fun part. Even if you don't want to get a timeshare I can offer you a GREAT FUN long weekend with your family. You can choose Orlando, FL-, Las Vegas, NV, Myrtle Beach, SC, Branson, MO, Gatlinburg, TN, Park City (Utah), Williamsburg, VA or Miami, FL. $99 for 4 days and 3 nights! They will ask you to attend a showing of their units and information on the location but you don't HAVE to go. All you have to do is either call 888-608-9570 or go to www.WestgateReservations.com/OHO and give them this reference number 71545965130. They will set you up at any of those locations for any 4 day 3 night stay.
Now you can get larger than a single room. If you upgrade to multiple bedrooms etc. They can give you those prices I believe it goes up about $100 for each additional bedroom but I am not positive on that one. I am soo excited to offer this to you guys because family time is so very important! So don't miss out and be sure to pass this discount on to your friends. Don't pay $1000 just for your hotel. (yes i have priced some of these places for hotels) And hey when you go to the let me show you how our timeshare works they give you a free breakfast! And you can get a free breakfast get the info and then tell them you are not interested. But you will have the info for when you are. I am so excited for you to try this out! I hope to see lots of photos in the comments from YOUR 4 day 3 night vacation discount!
Monday, September 21, 2015
REVIEW: Christmas Ornament Grow Eggs! Really fun and soo cute!
Christmas is coming! I know I know you don't want to hear that in September..but it is! I am all about the awesome fun stuff at Christmas. But I also like to make sure I start shopping ahead of time. These are so much fun! They are hatchable eggs. You can hang them on your tree then on Christmas your children (or adult children yes mine were ALL ABOUT THIS!) can immerse them in water. Now, this is NOT an overnight process. The whole thing can take about 2 weeks. That is a downside. But the kids will love watching it change!
Step one is above. Immerse it in water. Very easy steps even for a small child to follow. But the final item is not really appropriate for a child that may put something in its mouth still. They are small and would be a choking hazard.
After about couple of days we saw the crack! Woohoo it was ready to take out of the egg. It is not pretty yet. Don't despair! You then immerse the animal that comes out or snowman depending on which egg you hatch. The directions tell you how long to submerse it after it hatches. Now, I will tell you we thought the mason jar was a great idea. You may want something with a wider opening but, it worked just fine!
Here he is looking NOT SO CUTE! But its ok. The next step is letting him 'dry out'. Letting them sit for a few days on a towel on your counter or windowsill will then reveal the cutest little thing you have ever seen! See below!
These are really cute when they are done and even my grown children had a blast checking on it to see what it looked like and how it was doing and guessing when it would be done. The final piece of the puzzle is to display your adorable little animal. They are made of what feels almost like a foam. That is why above I suggested to not give them to small children. The Christmas ones will include either a Penguin, A Polar Bear or a Snowman. You can buy individually or get a 3 pack and get all three! Our penguin was in the white speckled one but I don't know if all the speckled ones are penguins. They are very adorable and usually within a week you have an adorable little figure. I have posted links to add either the individual or the three pack to your order with amazon. The three pack is definitely a better bargain. Would also be an awesome secret santa gift!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
The Quirks of life that people just don't get...about my life
If I were to launch my life story in novel form, the critics would say this is not true. But oddly it all is. See my life started out the child of a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old man. He joined the navy and we moved to the south to a base. Now if you ask the family who raised me the story, they will tell you that I was brought to them by my father because my mother had taken off and left me with him while she started a new life with the man she had been cheating on him with and left him then. If you ask my mom, my father and she had already split. She was at work and I was at daycare. I was picked up from daycare and a court hearing was held the next am to give custody to my grandparents before she could even get up there for which she had no money at all.
My dad left me with his parents either way you look at it because he never came back to get me even after he had remarried. But that may have had something to do with his new wife saying I was part of his past and she and the children they would have (which they never did) would be his future, but who knows. Yes she told me this to my face at the age of 10. Growing up I saw my dad less than a handful of times.
My mom well there is a whole different blog, but the short story is she visited me a few times. She got remarried to the man she started dating either while she was with my dad or after they split depending on who's story you believe. I really only remember her visiting me 2 times in the 14 years I lived with my grandparents and maybe a couple of calls beyond that.
People wonder why I often say I feel like an orphan. Did I get raised by a two parent home? Technically yes. My grandparents were there. But, I knew I had parents and I could never understand why they wouldn't want to see me. I always felt like I had done something wrong. My grandmother would make excuses for my father and why he wasn't around. She would tell me things like that my mother is a pathological liar like her mother and my grandfather on that side is a drunk and just bad things. But at the end of the day, I struggled my entire life trying to connect with someone. Trying to have that bond. I never had it.
What happens to someone who doesn't ever connect with a parent like a bond. You get crazy. You feel unimportant. At 41, I still regularly have bouts of absolutely hopelessness that I can't pull out of for a couple days. It isn't depression, meds don't work. Its a bad brain set. I never felt important.
Look at my Facebook. You can see that I have a couple of my cousins that I grew up a little older than on my Facebook but some are notably missing. My aunts nope, they aren't on my Facebook. They don't even talk to me. Everyone on that side treats me like I have done something wrong. How exactly does a child who didn't have a choice do something wrong. How exactly does a child who struggled so hard to try to have a connection get blackballed from a family because she can't get it together because the things she needed to grow up and know what to do in some situations she didn't have. Its like asking a mechanic who only has a wrench in his toolbox for a screwdriver.
I have been through counseling. I have been put on meds that did nothing. Well, except a couple did give me hives. I have chosen an abusive husband because in my mind I thought I wasn't worth anything. I have struggled so hard to just find myself my entire life and fallen flat without answers or having too many angles on a story that I end up with more questions than answer.
When my ex and I split, I moved to Illinois, where my mother and brothers lived. I really thought OK, my dad and I are pretty much friends now, If I can connect with my mom....it will all be OK. (By friends I mean he calls me 2 or 3 times a year and tells me how much fun he had with his ex wife's daughter and her husband on his boat the past five weekends, or his current girlfriend). All I wanted was a little time with her alone. To get to build a relationship. I lived in Illinois for 4 years. I asked her multiple times if we could go to lunch my treat. She would say well I am really busy. I got laid off from work and I was renting a house from her. My ex had the car that was in both of our names repo'd because his name was on it. So I was laid off with no car. She found a car at an auction, and she bought it. Then her husband instead of letting her give it to me with a promise to pay when I found a job....gave it for free to his son. Who has four cars already.
My brothers, my stepfather...everyone came before me. As someone who doesn't know how to put myself first, I felt like I didn't deserve to. When I found out my current husbands job was relocating us I asked on multiple occasions if we could spend some time together and she couldn't find even a moment of her time. Her husband needed stuff done......she was getting her hair done. She was doing something for my brother. All of these things and then she would say but if you guys want to come down and visit.
Do you know that when we got there, the first birthday i had was 3 months after I moved to Illinois, I got a card. It was so special to me. I never got a birthday card from her before. That is the only card as of today I got. I lived there for 4 years. At Christmas she would buy my brother a big screen tv, my other brother a gaming system...my other brother something expensive he wanted and I got slippers and a shark. See I wasn't comparing things until after I moved and I did a list. I realized she may have spent $100 on me total. My brothers got four to five times as much for them if not more. I bought my brothers gifts they never got me anything. I was not accepted by them either. Again not my fault I did nothing wrong.
I am not writing this as a victim. I am writing this today as someone who realizes that just because the people who should love you don't....just because you want to be cared for and given understanding it doesn't mean you will. It is OK. They are the ones missing out. Yes it hurts. And you will feel it when you see a friend post on Facebook how much they love their parent or their cousins or whatever. You don't have that. But there are lots of people who's parents are dead. Who would love to at least know their parents are alive and healthy. I will morn when my parents pass or any family member that I have cared about. It doesn't matter if they cared about me. See what matters at the end of the day....I care about me........at the end of the day. God loves me. And above all he is the one that matters. He is the one who has gotten me some absolutely horrible times in my life. He is the one that pushed me even when I didn't want him and I turned away from him.
I have a husband now that I have been married to for a year. We are still learning some nuances to our relationship and my needs etc. Sometimes I am more vocal about them than others and I need to get consistent instead of like waves in the ocean but he is a good man. He is a god fearing man. And we will grow and learn and things will get better. As far as my family. I love them because they are my family. I don't like that I don't fit in anywhere because I'm not allowed. Maybe one day they will wake up and things will be better. I won't pray for that any more. I only pray that they are healthy and happy. Because I can't change how they do things. I pray that they have all of their needs met. And I pray that if they happen upon this particular edition of my blog, they will understand this isn't about anger this is about understanding. Things happened that were outside of my control. I understand some of them did the best they could and some of them had no idea what to do. It is what it is. Its OK. I'm OK with it. I love everyone in my family but I will not allow myself to be a victim or a hurt party in something I never did.
If you find yourself separated emotionally or physically from your family just know God loves you. God will take care of you and God will make your life follow the path it is meant to. Those he includes in it are blessings even if they don't stay or they come kicking and screaming. Be a light to them.
My dad left me with his parents either way you look at it because he never came back to get me even after he had remarried. But that may have had something to do with his new wife saying I was part of his past and she and the children they would have (which they never did) would be his future, but who knows. Yes she told me this to my face at the age of 10. Growing up I saw my dad less than a handful of times.
My mom well there is a whole different blog, but the short story is she visited me a few times. She got remarried to the man she started dating either while she was with my dad or after they split depending on who's story you believe. I really only remember her visiting me 2 times in the 14 years I lived with my grandparents and maybe a couple of calls beyond that.
People wonder why I often say I feel like an orphan. Did I get raised by a two parent home? Technically yes. My grandparents were there. But, I knew I had parents and I could never understand why they wouldn't want to see me. I always felt like I had done something wrong. My grandmother would make excuses for my father and why he wasn't around. She would tell me things like that my mother is a pathological liar like her mother and my grandfather on that side is a drunk and just bad things. But at the end of the day, I struggled my entire life trying to connect with someone. Trying to have that bond. I never had it.
What happens to someone who doesn't ever connect with a parent like a bond. You get crazy. You feel unimportant. At 41, I still regularly have bouts of absolutely hopelessness that I can't pull out of for a couple days. It isn't depression, meds don't work. Its a bad brain set. I never felt important.
Look at my Facebook. You can see that I have a couple of my cousins that I grew up a little older than on my Facebook but some are notably missing. My aunts nope, they aren't on my Facebook. They don't even talk to me. Everyone on that side treats me like I have done something wrong. How exactly does a child who didn't have a choice do something wrong. How exactly does a child who struggled so hard to try to have a connection get blackballed from a family because she can't get it together because the things she needed to grow up and know what to do in some situations she didn't have. Its like asking a mechanic who only has a wrench in his toolbox for a screwdriver.
I have been through counseling. I have been put on meds that did nothing. Well, except a couple did give me hives. I have chosen an abusive husband because in my mind I thought I wasn't worth anything. I have struggled so hard to just find myself my entire life and fallen flat without answers or having too many angles on a story that I end up with more questions than answer.
When my ex and I split, I moved to Illinois, where my mother and brothers lived. I really thought OK, my dad and I are pretty much friends now, If I can connect with my mom....it will all be OK. (By friends I mean he calls me 2 or 3 times a year and tells me how much fun he had with his ex wife's daughter and her husband on his boat the past five weekends, or his current girlfriend). All I wanted was a little time with her alone. To get to build a relationship. I lived in Illinois for 4 years. I asked her multiple times if we could go to lunch my treat. She would say well I am really busy. I got laid off from work and I was renting a house from her. My ex had the car that was in both of our names repo'd because his name was on it. So I was laid off with no car. She found a car at an auction, and she bought it. Then her husband instead of letting her give it to me with a promise to pay when I found a job....gave it for free to his son. Who has four cars already.
My brothers, my stepfather...everyone came before me. As someone who doesn't know how to put myself first, I felt like I didn't deserve to. When I found out my current husbands job was relocating us I asked on multiple occasions if we could spend some time together and she couldn't find even a moment of her time. Her husband needed stuff done......she was getting her hair done. She was doing something for my brother. All of these things and then she would say but if you guys want to come down and visit.
Do you know that when we got there, the first birthday i had was 3 months after I moved to Illinois, I got a card. It was so special to me. I never got a birthday card from her before. That is the only card as of today I got. I lived there for 4 years. At Christmas she would buy my brother a big screen tv, my other brother a gaming system...my other brother something expensive he wanted and I got slippers and a shark. See I wasn't comparing things until after I moved and I did a list. I realized she may have spent $100 on me total. My brothers got four to five times as much for them if not more. I bought my brothers gifts they never got me anything. I was not accepted by them either. Again not my fault I did nothing wrong.
I am not writing this as a victim. I am writing this today as someone who realizes that just because the people who should love you don't....just because you want to be cared for and given understanding it doesn't mean you will. It is OK. They are the ones missing out. Yes it hurts. And you will feel it when you see a friend post on Facebook how much they love their parent or their cousins or whatever. You don't have that. But there are lots of people who's parents are dead. Who would love to at least know their parents are alive and healthy. I will morn when my parents pass or any family member that I have cared about. It doesn't matter if they cared about me. See what matters at the end of the day....I care about me........at the end of the day. God loves me. And above all he is the one that matters. He is the one who has gotten me some absolutely horrible times in my life. He is the one that pushed me even when I didn't want him and I turned away from him.
I have a husband now that I have been married to for a year. We are still learning some nuances to our relationship and my needs etc. Sometimes I am more vocal about them than others and I need to get consistent instead of like waves in the ocean but he is a good man. He is a god fearing man. And we will grow and learn and things will get better. As far as my family. I love them because they are my family. I don't like that I don't fit in anywhere because I'm not allowed. Maybe one day they will wake up and things will be better. I won't pray for that any more. I only pray that they are healthy and happy. Because I can't change how they do things. I pray that they have all of their needs met. And I pray that if they happen upon this particular edition of my blog, they will understand this isn't about anger this is about understanding. Things happened that were outside of my control. I understand some of them did the best they could and some of them had no idea what to do. It is what it is. Its OK. I'm OK with it. I love everyone in my family but I will not allow myself to be a victim or a hurt party in something I never did.
If you find yourself separated emotionally or physically from your family just know God loves you. God will take care of you and God will make your life follow the path it is meant to. Those he includes in it are blessings even if they don't stay or they come kicking and screaming. Be a light to them.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Reviewsio.....I am soo excited
Recently I heard about a new Review site. I'd love to share it with you! Basically the short way to explain it is there are LOTS of sellers on Amazon who are looking for regular people to review their products on Amazon. Sometimes you will receive a discount and sometimes it will be free. Great deal!
So let me go into that a little bit more...If you have shopped on Amazon, I am sure you have seen reviews where at the end someone says I received a discount in exchange for my honest opinion. What happens is this...that person either because of their review quality or because of posts like this has gotten into a group where items are offered to them at a discounted price in exchange for them using the product and writing an honest review. Are there people who lie? Probably. Personally, I would never lie. That is why on my blog or our family vlog we are careful to make sure there is photos or video of the actual product and if we can get it in use for you to see you will see it. Why I do this is two fold. I want you to know what you are getting. I am not going to let you, my reader or watcher, get a sub-par item. Period. There is no free item in the world worth a false review. Now if you are someone just looking to get cheap or free stuff. The sellers will figure it out pretty quick and you won't get a lot of items offered to you except for maybe by new sellers and it generally isn't the good stuff.
So, that being said, I am going to post a link to join Reviewsio but please, join only if you are going to be honest and try to get items you sincerely would use. I do not accept reviews for items that either I can use or I know someone directly I can give it to. You an not sell your products you get at a discount or free. You can donate them, you can give them to your friends or you can toss them you CAN NOT SELL THEM. IF you are caught you will be banned from Amazon. They are VERY STRICT. Also, when you write a review you HAVE TO PUT ON THERE that you received a discount.
Now to the fun/not so fun part. Some sellers are really motivated. They will give away great expensive items for free. Others maybe 75% off. Others 50%. That beings said, there will be sellers who will give you the item at $1 off. You need to educate yourself on the products and what they cost before accepting any offer or signing up to review an item. I am not really sure which direction Reviewsio will be going, but usually either sellers can contact you or sellers will be given the opportunity to select people who have marked that they are interested in an item. Ie an I'd like to review this button. We will see on October 1st.
Now depending on how many people sign up and depending on what qualifications the sellers are asking for that you meet will depend on what you get. If you have never done a review before on Amazon, I highly recommend going through your house and seeing what you already own. It will not be a verified purchase review but it will get your feet on the floor. You have a few weeks to get this done before the sellers can see your profile!
What makes a good review? DETAILS. Put in as much information as you can. Just putting in this product worked great is getting a downvote from almost anyone who reads it. You want upvotes saying your reviews are helpful. Did you notice that when you put it together you missed something. Tell them to be careful not to miss that. If you had a piece break and had to contact the company and they were fast or slow to help you. Tell them. More info is a better review.
Now for the fun. Reviewsio is opening up registration for its launch on October 1st! You can get in NOW!!! Yes now!!! I am putting the link in the next part. Just click it. Sign up and you are on your way! Have fun. Feel free to post below what you get approved for. I will also be doing a monthly break down of what I got as well from Reviewsio once it starts. I noticed it already is pulling my reviews which is so exciting. Make sure you give the sellers LOTS of info on you! Be open be honest. Be yourself! Then go for it and HAVE FUN! You can sign up HERE!
Have fun and make sure you follow me on there and see what I am reviewing to. If you need help with reviews, I do help with them as well. Happy reviewing and I hope you get something AWESOME! You can follow me on Reviewsio HERE.
So let me go into that a little bit more...If you have shopped on Amazon, I am sure you have seen reviews where at the end someone says I received a discount in exchange for my honest opinion. What happens is this...that person either because of their review quality or because of posts like this has gotten into a group where items are offered to them at a discounted price in exchange for them using the product and writing an honest review. Are there people who lie? Probably. Personally, I would never lie. That is why on my blog or our family vlog we are careful to make sure there is photos or video of the actual product and if we can get it in use for you to see you will see it. Why I do this is two fold. I want you to know what you are getting. I am not going to let you, my reader or watcher, get a sub-par item. Period. There is no free item in the world worth a false review. Now if you are someone just looking to get cheap or free stuff. The sellers will figure it out pretty quick and you won't get a lot of items offered to you except for maybe by new sellers and it generally isn't the good stuff.
So, that being said, I am going to post a link to join Reviewsio but please, join only if you are going to be honest and try to get items you sincerely would use. I do not accept reviews for items that either I can use or I know someone directly I can give it to. You an not sell your products you get at a discount or free. You can donate them, you can give them to your friends or you can toss them you CAN NOT SELL THEM. IF you are caught you will be banned from Amazon. They are VERY STRICT. Also, when you write a review you HAVE TO PUT ON THERE that you received a discount.
Now to the fun/not so fun part. Some sellers are really motivated. They will give away great expensive items for free. Others maybe 75% off. Others 50%. That beings said, there will be sellers who will give you the item at $1 off. You need to educate yourself on the products and what they cost before accepting any offer or signing up to review an item. I am not really sure which direction Reviewsio will be going, but usually either sellers can contact you or sellers will be given the opportunity to select people who have marked that they are interested in an item. Ie an I'd like to review this button. We will see on October 1st.
Now depending on how many people sign up and depending on what qualifications the sellers are asking for that you meet will depend on what you get. If you have never done a review before on Amazon, I highly recommend going through your house and seeing what you already own. It will not be a verified purchase review but it will get your feet on the floor. You have a few weeks to get this done before the sellers can see your profile!
What makes a good review? DETAILS. Put in as much information as you can. Just putting in this product worked great is getting a downvote from almost anyone who reads it. You want upvotes saying your reviews are helpful. Did you notice that when you put it together you missed something. Tell them to be careful not to miss that. If you had a piece break and had to contact the company and they were fast or slow to help you. Tell them. More info is a better review.
Now for the fun. Reviewsio is opening up registration for its launch on October 1st! You can get in NOW!!! Yes now!!! I am putting the link in the next part. Just click it. Sign up and you are on your way! Have fun. Feel free to post below what you get approved for. I will also be doing a monthly break down of what I got as well from Reviewsio once it starts. I noticed it already is pulling my reviews which is so exciting. Make sure you give the sellers LOTS of info on you! Be open be honest. Be yourself! Then go for it and HAVE FUN! You can sign up HERE!
Have fun and make sure you follow me on there and see what I am reviewing to. If you need help with reviews, I do help with them as well. Happy reviewing and I hope you get something AWESOME! You can follow me on Reviewsio HERE.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Now that we have settled in!
Our exchange student Triet is adjusting well. He is an amazing young man. Hearing him talk about things in Vietnam though sometimes makes me a little sad. You see we take so much for granted as americans. Even something as simple as a reclining sofa. Trust me there will be a long blog about month one and the things I have learned from him. I know this is his experience but we are learning so much from him..including asian languages are not something I adapt to easily. Lets just say we call him T because NONE of us can say his name right.
Sometimes you are in a place where someone in need is on your doorstep that happened last week when I full intended to sit down and get some massive bloggage done. But a friend's mom's fiancee was in a horrible car accident and lost his legs. She needed a place to crash and decompress after leaving the hospital every night. We had open doors and arms for her. I will tell you that in our lives, our family and friends come before everything else. I may get quiet on here for a time and I can guarantee it is because someone needed us more than I needed to be on my blog or even on facebook.
So what you can expect in the next week. Well we will have a blog tutorial on creating a steampunk hat! Going shopping for the final pieces of the puzzle on that tomorrow night. Then there will be a whovian nod to some great Dr who Gifts for your family geek! A discussion on Schools and when to stand up and be strong and when to be calm and just let it go.....A run down on some essential oils and where to find them as well as Some electronic gift ideas. I know, I know so soon for gift ideas. Listen I start shopping for Christmas in JUNE! Do you know why? Because when all is said and done....I am no where near a store from thanksgiving on unless Im grocery shopping. Plus did you know you can get better sales BEFORE Thanksgiving??It is true. I will also be doing a little Amazon 101. I bet you didn't know that if you like an item and you wishlist it you can watch for it to go on sale..........they always do!
So lots coming up and some great items and landscaping ideas. I can't wait to share all that we are doing to our home and our yard. As always if you want me to check out an item or a craft project just comment below. We will be more than happy to do the research and trials for you! Our honest opinions are always out there for the world to see. Hope you have had a great couple of weeks. NOW WELCOME BACK TO THE FUN ZONE!
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Review: Lavisha Sterling Silver Diamond Circle Pendant Necklace
I could just gush about this necklace. I got it for a couple dollars off in exchange for a review, but I am in love with this necklace. It is a sterling silver charm. It says One Wish on it and has a small CZ stone in the center bottom of it. It is beautiful.
At the retail price of 29.99 it is pretty equivalent to other sterling necklaces. So it would be something you would want to select because you like it. But, like a lot of other items on Amazon, it goes on sale often and you can just wait for it to go on sale. But even at regular retail it is well worth the money. It comes in a beautiful velvet like bag with a draw string and then you pull out a beautiful leather look box with the necklace beautifully displayed inside.
The necklace is just gorgeous and very simple but yet elegant. It just shimmers. I love this necklace. I purchased it as a Christmas present for my niece and I know that she will love it. It is just gorgeous.
This would make an amazing Christmas present. But other great uses would be Mother's day gift, Birthday Present or it would be an amazing Bridesmaid gift. Just gorgeous!
You can find it at this link:
At the retail price of 29.99 it is pretty equivalent to other sterling necklaces. So it would be something you would want to select because you like it. But, like a lot of other items on Amazon, it goes on sale often and you can just wait for it to go on sale. But even at regular retail it is well worth the money. It comes in a beautiful velvet like bag with a draw string and then you pull out a beautiful leather look box with the necklace beautifully displayed inside.
The necklace is just gorgeous and very simple but yet elegant. It just shimmers. I love this necklace. I purchased it as a Christmas present for my niece and I know that she will love it. It is just gorgeous.
This would make an amazing Christmas present. But other great uses would be Mother's day gift, Birthday Present or it would be an amazing Bridesmaid gift. Just gorgeous!
You can find it at this link:
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
REVIEW: Attack on Titan - Survey Corps 100% Cotton Cosplay Costume Adult T-Shirt Tee
With our student coming, by the time you read this he will be here, we were trying to find some cool stuff that we could give him as gifts for his arrival. We know Attack on Titan is a pretty popular thing so when I had the chance to get a discount on a Tshirt that was Attack on Titan I jumped on it. You can find this item here.
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My son solidly wears a medium but sometimes with Chinese sizing he wears a large. This shirt we purchased in a Medium. He tried it on for blog purposes. It has a great design that is very clear and well applied. The shirt itself is not cheap. It is a good solid cotton. Now it is 100% cotton so I do expect it to shrink. But the seams are very sturdy and it is well sewn. It is a great shirt! I think I will be going back to get the one my son wants. Then the boys can have almost matching shirts!
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
REVIEW: 6 Colors Multi-lens LED Party Disco Stage Dance Club DJ Lighting LED Strobe Light
I recently had the opportunity to purchase the WOWTOU® 18W Super Bright Speed Adjustable Voice-activated 6 Colors Multi-lens LED Party Disco Stage Dance Club DJ Lighting LED Strobe Light. I didn't know what to expect. The price is very reasonable and for the price I honestly didn't expect too much out of it. So often you see these lights that claim to be DJ quality that are just not even close.
The list price is normally in the low 60s. I did see that it is currently on sale for about half retail price. I got a little more of a discount because I am a blogger and sometimes I get coupon opportunities to review items. So we got it in. I love that it has a DMX in and out connection. Great for if you really are a DJ. I am including photos of what it looked like in our house. We are going to set up the area to be hung in the back yard for when we have friends over.
You can purchase yours here:
It has a bunch of adjustments you can make. Speed runs from 1 which is slow to 9 which is faster. Then there is different modes of the lights. Some of them only work with a DJ system hooked in. But there are enough if you are just getting it for home as well. I was very impressed with this light. If you are looking for a professional light, this is an amazing deal for a high quality and fun light. If you are not a professional this is still great for your home.
Here are the rest of our photos!
You can purchase yours here:
Monday, August 10, 2015
Paracon (Pensacola Paranormal and Comicon)
Last year when we were down here scoping out the area to decide if we would live down here, We happened to spot a sign about Paracon. When we went we had a blast. We met the guys from Ghost Stop, we got surpise boxes of Geek stuff and I got some great Dr Who gear. I was pretty excited to go back this year because we had so much fun. Well, this year, I just am not so impressed. We paid $40 for the entire group of us to go. SO yes it is cheap to get in $10 per person. Now online it said everyone who attended would get a swag bag. We got nothing. So that was disappointing. We drove an hour to get there and were very excited to get swag. Its important sorry, it is. Anyhow, so we get inside. The same Star Wars group was there from last year. It was cool. We saw them last year but my son had not so he checked it out. This year, there wasn't anyone selling the mystery boxes, there was no one selling very much Dr Who gear, and the vendors really were low to mid quality items for the most part.
They had 'stars' like Tatiyana Ali from Fresh Prince and the other sister from fresh prince. Where do they fit in to this? I don't see it. They had the guy from Blue Lagoon. They also had a guy from the TV Show Chips. The closest thing they had to current and 'exciting people' was a guy who played the blue ranger on the Power rangers in a newer version than the original and is now on One Tree Hill and the guy who played the grounds keeper on Harry Potter. $20 for an autograph or photo? I paid $20 to have a photo with Lita Ford at Pensacon. And really really great people like Nichelle Williams from star treck were only $20. I just didn't get it. First of all, these people are paid to be here and their travel etc was paid for. Why charge so much for a photo with you. I mean I get they need to make money but again they are paid to be there. So.........yeah.
I was very disappointed in this years version. So, needless to say whether we will go back again is really up in the air. I really was excited to post some loot day shopping photos..but sadly we bought nothing and left with nothing. Well on the plus side PENSACON is in February and that was awesome.
They had 'stars' like Tatiyana Ali from Fresh Prince and the other sister from fresh prince. Where do they fit in to this? I don't see it. They had the guy from Blue Lagoon. They also had a guy from the TV Show Chips. The closest thing they had to current and 'exciting people' was a guy who played the blue ranger on the Power rangers in a newer version than the original and is now on One Tree Hill and the guy who played the grounds keeper on Harry Potter. $20 for an autograph or photo? I paid $20 to have a photo with Lita Ford at Pensacon. And really really great people like Nichelle Williams from star treck were only $20. I just didn't get it. First of all, these people are paid to be here and their travel etc was paid for. Why charge so much for a photo with you. I mean I get they need to make money but again they are paid to be there. So.........yeah.
I was very disappointed in this years version. So, needless to say whether we will go back again is really up in the air. I really was excited to post some loot day shopping photos..but sadly we bought nothing and left with nothing. Well on the plus side PENSACON is in February and that was awesome.
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