Counting down to the trip to the airport.....

The days seem to be speeding by. It is forcing me into this foggy future that is in front of me. I thought about writing a book. I thought, well, my blog posts are so depressing I'm sure any book I wrote would be equally sad. Then, I thought I need to stop being depressed. I can't change anything that is happening. I raised two children to adulthood who had no drug problems, no arrests, graduated high school, one finished college the other is making plans to use his GI bill. I have two children who have no children at 23 and 24. They have good morals and they are pretty awesome people, if I do say so myself. So I have to change my paradigm. But to what? I have zero idea and this blog post will not even start trying to rationalize that. I have realized one thing. I have to wait till she leaves to figure out what I will become, or who I am. It may look like me now, and it may look completely different.

So I am going to lighten this up with a funny story from last week. Now, when I say funny, I don't really mean funny Haha. I mean funny, my husband is lucky to be alive. (That is a joke, I in NO way condone violence in any way towards anyone. But I may have jokingly told him that he was lucky I wasn't motivated enough to shoot him in the butt.) So, we had a tropical storm last week. There is a tree on the side of our driveway that I have mentioned a few times we need to get a quote on having it taken down.....we need to rent a tall ladder and check some branches......etc etc. Ok tropical storm. So, storm is going on and early in the am there is a LOUD bang. I think man that thing hit our van. I'm hoping it dented the roof big deal.....we will have a dented roof on our van. Nope. Not even a chance of that. It fell right in the middle of our front window. It was lovely! So I go online and order a replacement window and prepay for it. They come out and do an amazing job replacing the window. (We paid for it because it was under our copay for home insurance and auto said because it was a tree on our property our home owners had to cover it). Ok now, my husband notices there is another hanging branch in the tree. Before we got the window replaced I tell him he should try to throw something up and knock it down and until then park the vehicle out of the reach of the branch.

I know you know where this is going....I know you can hear me taking a deep breath and talking myself out of jail time....I know..... So, what happened next was after the BEAUTIFUL new windshield was put in at around 930 am. That evening, we hear another loud noise. I looked at my husband. I said, please tell me you got that branch out of that tree. The look on his face told me right away that he had not. I took a deep breath and I said ok. You better go check because if I see it, we are going to have a problem. Sure enough.....branch #2....in the window and not fixable with a fill. Another $450 into ANOTHER window. So much for a savings account right? So, Tuesday of last week, someone came out again and replaced our window. I looked at my husband and I said, park where there are no chances of tree branches. I said if you see a tree branch hanging find your tool that you were supposed to throw up on the last one and do it. Don't see something else you want to get done just do it!

If only I was taller than 5'2" tall and this tree wasn't like 25 feet tall. Also, I should add I throw 'like a girl'. Its so true too. I am not a sports girl. I was a band geek. I did absolutely ZERO sports. I am aok with that because when I tried to do sports, I failed miserably.

I honestly have really started looking back at the quotes and speeches done by people I really respect. Have you ever heard of Sam Glenn? In my former life in Illinois, my employer showed a lot of his videos. Literally a week after we got relocated and we were spinning from a new place where we knew no one. On his fb page he posted a painting he had done of an angel. He said he was thinking about trashing it because it had a hole in it. I commented that sometimes the holes and mistakes are what make something wonderful and not to trash it. What I didn't know is that he was waiting to see who would have a positive answer to the post. I was the first to comment and he mailed me that painting. I need to put it in the house where I can see it all the time to remind me. If you haven't seen any of his talks, I am connecting on here my faves.





This is a short blog. Mainly because overall I have so much still to do before she leaves and I have to get my house in order and I already did two HUGE long posts last week that I am sure wore you out! I am going to start listening to Sam Glenn. I am going to use what he has put out in the ether to change my attitude about this. See y'all Friday...….I will probably be scheduling that post. Unless she is leaving the following week. We are waiting to see when they want her to be there.

Trying to make the best of memories before a long time without my kids......

We asked my son where he wanted to go before he left any places he would miss etc. He only wanted to go to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants and he wanted us to invite his dad and grandmother. So, I was the bigger person, yes I wanted him all to myself for his last night home, but honestly, so many changes were happening and I felt helpless to have any say in the changes that were happening in my life. I feel like this is the story of my life. When I was a child, my parents split up. I ended up living with my father's parents which is a whole special edition blog post. No idea what was happening, no idea why and no one ever asked me what I wanted. When I was in school, I had the friends that my grandparents said were 'ok'. No one asked me who I wanted to be friends with. My high school boyfriend ended up with someone else after we had gotten engaged and I found out from his friend. My college was picked by my grandparents. Being a mom. So many things have never been my choice. I don't even know if I have an opinion some days.

I feel like I am struggling so bad. She hasn't even left yet, but I am seeing her bags packed. Her last moments in her room. Setting up a space for me to 'work'....or try to. I have no idea what direction to go into. It sucks sometimes to live so far away from people who know you. People you can count on. Yes, I have my husband but, what you need to know about him is that after marriage, we were having some struggles. During marital counseling, the counselor asked to test him on a few things. We found out he has Asperger Syndrome. So, the things that I need from our marriage that he hasn't been able to give, he can't. I have to accept that. I do love him and he is a great guy. But, sometimes, when he is really into something, I am not even alive to him. He just gets into his zone. He tries to include me or pay attention to what I am saying but, he just can't. I feel stagnant. I feel trapped. I feel so many things right now. I don't even know where to begin to pick up my life and move forward.

Crafts that I used to love to do, I look at my supplies and I just don't want to. The photo boxes of memories that I have been meaning to scrapbook, I can't even touch the box. I bought these things to make pom pom rugs, but I can't even start to pull out the yarn because it was both mine and my daughter's yarn. So much of my craft stuff was for our projects. My sons room has a spot on the wall where he slid something and I refuse to paint the room even though we need to. I have YouTube videos in the can and I can't even convince myself to redownload the program to edit them to put them on YouTube. I have a lot I can do, but all of it, was meant to be done with her or him. My house is so quiet and she is still here. I can't imagine the silence when she leaves.

We sent her paperwork for her Visa in and are waiting for it to come back. It looks like she will leave around the 21/22nd. I feel like a person on death row waiting for their number to come up. I wake up from sleep with my heart beating so fast I can't even breath or I can't sleep at all. I stay awake until my body literally forces me to sleep. Then, I wake with the panic attack. My stress level is starting to cause my feet and ankles to swell and Im nauseous all the time. I asked her if she would mind if I didn't go to the airport with her. Not because I don't want to go but because I don't know how I will stand after watching her walk away. Everything reminds me of her and my son. Every restaurant, every store is just a reminder that they are or will be gone. I want to be happy and excited for her but, I am tormented and broken. Most of the time I hold it together well or I cover up the tear that escapes my eye in a moment. But, when I type this blog, the tears pour and I could never hide them.

I watch TV shows that yes are sad but don't warrant tears from me and yet, I cry. I can't even deal with non sad things if someone gets disappointed. I seriously hope that by writing this blog, I can let out the tears and find a sunshine at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I am on a highway and I see a sign that says tunnel ahead and I look forward and see the darkness of the tunnel with no sign of light. I am setting alarms to remind me to eat so that I know that I will remember to eat. I know I'm not the first one to go through this, but I feel like my past has a huge part in why I am having so much trouble dealing with it.

When my son was in the army, I cried often while he was in boot camp. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't see him except looking through the photos on his unit page which were so hard to find your child out of the men there. When he was at his duty station, he was only 5 hours away from us so, we would often get off of work on Friday and drive there and visit all day Saturday and then again on Sunday am and then drive home. Then, my husband's work was slated to close. They offered a transfer to Alabama. He was getting set to transfer to Texas so we figured well Alabama is closer to Texas than Illinois so Ok. Then he got discharged and moved in with us about 6 months later. It was super stressful. He had a job then he got laid off and then he just got super picky about jobs. I should add my son is autistic, but is high functioning. So, he gets something in his head and he just can't be convinced.

This all just seems to final. Too permanent too much. My step one in thoughts is to start a new craft. Something that will take concentration and will not be something I have done with my daughter. I bought stuff to do the paint pouring for ornaments etc. I also was looking into doing reborn babies. Its a lot of up front costs and practice but, I think maybe I could do it. Do you guys have any ideas of things I could take up? I'd love to something like volunteering etc, however, we had two vehicles. When we were planning on leaving for asia, we sold my van. So now we are down to one vehicle and my husband works days and often works 10-12 hour days and also work a lot of Saturdays. (that is why my house will be quiet).

But for now, I am trying to find some hobbies I can do from home. That will be my first step.

Starting over again.....for the last time.....Finding myself Part 1

We started Foster care in October of 2017. What was supposed to be just one special needs child came in a two pack of special needs brothers. I struggled greatly with feeling somewhat forced into this option and not wanting to turn away little boys who were living in a facility. My husband and I felt like they knew we wouldn't say no, so they offered these boys to us. Honestly, it was hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world. The younger of the two brothers ended up being a lot sicker than they realized and we ended up in the hospital for days on end multiple times. I spent most nights lying awake waiting to see if he would have a seizure and napping while they were at school or running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep. (I know self care!) The boys were our world. As visitations continued, one of the boys became extremely defiant and would tell me in what little words he had that his mother told him he didn't have to listen to us. She also told him to not listen to us. She told him he was coming home soon. At one point, I asked him, do you think if you are naughty you will get to go home? He said yeah and said momma said. It broke my heart that she was doing this to him, but what could I do. I told him that it wasn't true. Moms that children love honestly definitely are believed way faster than the person they think is keeping them from their mom and dad.

I laughed so hard watching these little boys blossom. They had no verbal skills when we got them, just sounds and grunts and one had just learned to walk at 5. They were 5 and 6 but wore size 3/4 clothing. They were so tiny. They would eat anything we put in front of them and we had to watch carefully that they didn't take food off of each other's plates. Their story was a horrible and sad story, but aren't they all really? My heart would break when I would think about what they came from. I fought to get the youngest one into the mds he needed. I won every time! We really loved having them around for the most part. We had them for 11 months. Then my life started to spiral into something I couldn't recognize on the horizon. Not knowing how I would emotionally handle that I knew that I couldn't put the boys through my emotional hills and valleys. They relied on me to be the calm and stable one and the thought of what was to come, was literally paralyzing me.

Let's go back to my daughter's graduation from College. She realized she couldn't do the job she wanted herein Alabama with her degree without getting a higher degree and the jobs she could get wouldn't support her to live independently and go to school for her masters. She also knew she was about to be in student loan hell. So, my daughter started looking for an overseas teaching job. My husband and I had discussed going overseas as well. I have always loved Asian food and culture and knew I could work online and make more than enough money to support the two of us. Plus if he fished, that would cut down on our grocery budget. We had it all planned. I told my son he needed to get a job if he wanted to come with us. All I wanted him to save up for was his plane ticket. I knew that where we were going, he may have trouble finding a job, but I was sure he could find something there. He refused to get a job and after I told him we weren't going to pay for his plane ticket because I had asked him to please save the money for that part and he hadn't. Well, he announced that he was moving in with my ex husband (his dad) in Colorado. My daughter also was offered a job in China. All of the sudden I had short notice empty nester syndrome and it wasn't like they were going to be down the road where I would see them regularly.

At first, my husband and I agreed that I would go with my daughter. He would sell our house and we would presell most of our property and then he would work on either early retirement or transfer to Hong Kong. Everything was set. I noticed quickly that he was still ordering bullet molds which he can't use in Asia at all. I thought, how serious is he about coming with us. I went and talked to a counselor about how I was feeling and he basically said I needed to try to make my marriage work. My husband may not have been able to say he didn't want to go now etc etc. So, I told my family I decided to stay here. My son decided to go with his dad still because his dad had found him a job. (Three years living with us and wouldn't get a job when I basically handed him one but when dad who wasn't around does, it like a stupid six figure income. No he isn't making anywhere near six figures, I just mean its like his dream job was handed to him). Anyhow, enough of that drama. My ex came in August to pick him up. On his birthday weekend (my son's birthday). So, I didn't get to spend his birthday with him because he was in Colorado. My ex (who knows he owes thousands of dollars of child support) had a great time talking about how he was going to Mexico and New Orleans and Vegas and was looking at buying a Tesla. I just took a deep breath even though I really just wanted to kick him somewhere hard. (I'll maybe do a blogpost about my ex and why I absolutely can't stand being in his general vicinity).

After my son left, I knew I definitely couldn't keep the boys pending my daughter's departure at some point in September. I finalized our closing date for doing daycare. Then poof they were gone as well. the youngest one said see ya later when he left. He thought he was coming back. And I cried so hard. I felt like I was letting them down so much. But, I knew that this transition into being a mom with no kids to come to see her on Thanksgiving, Christmas or Mother's Day was going to be super hard. What you need to know about me. At 19, I was a college student living on campus, away from home, for the first time. I had been an exchange student but we still had people overseeing us and host parents. So it wasn't the same as being solo. I was being asked to be in Sororities, I was making new friends, I was loving life. Then, a friend (I use that term loosely) came by my dorm room. He was waiting for friends to come meet him at a frat party. I won't go into details but, lets just say, he decided to be a lot closer than friends even though I told him to stop and said no multiple times. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. So I went from being a kid to a mom. Family members tried to convince me to give the baby up for adoption. But, I grew up without my mom and I never wanted that for any of my children. I don't believe in abortion, so for me there was only one choice. Being a mom.

18 months later, I had my son. (I was married before my daughter was born.) At any rate, I was always a mom and my kids came first. I made sure their needs were met and I worked multiple jobs as a single mom when they were 3/4 and after. I made sure they had what they needed. I lived with my grandparents for help with getting them off the bus if I needed to be at work and I struggled to keep my head above water. When you are in college or are college age, you learn who you are. You make your mistakes. You learn about yourself. I never had time to do that. I have struggled with my identity for a lot of my life for a lot of reasons, but, I never had the chance to figure me out. Now, my kids are moving out and they won't be local. I live in a place where I honestly have made zero friends in the 3 years we have lived here. I thought I had friends but I found out when circumstances changed they were people who needed me for their interests. So, I am basically alone. It's so scary. Its so daunting. It's just so terrifying. I want to know who I am but, I feel wholly too old to figure it out.

So, for now, this is where I sit. I spent he last year running after 2 boys and trying to keep my head above water. Now, I am crying for no reason, over random things that would make anyone else look at me as if I was crazy. I literally barely leave the house because I have no idea when I will break into tears. Like literally, Friday night, we went to Chronic Tacos. She was sitting across from me eating a burrito. I could only think the next time I come here, she can't come with me. Tonight she came out excitedly saying she was getting her visa paperwork tomorrow and we needed to go to a fedex and send it overnight so she can get her paperwork overnighted to get the visa on her passport. I played it ok. I didn't cry. Till she went to her room and went to bed...………..

Typing this.....tears are pouring from my face. I honestly have zero idea what to do. I know that I have one more weekend with her. Then, life as I know it will be unrecognizable. The reasons I looked forward to tomorrow, will be gone. I'm lucky if my son messages me ever (like literally I have to text him). My daughter will be 14 hours ahead of me in a country that is not the most open and free. One where she doesn't know the language and she has online friends she has never met in person that she will be relying on and I don't know anything about them and really neither does she. I'm going to take a deep breath and pray that she stays safe. Pray that she doesn't get too homesick. Because I will be homesick without my kids. So there it is. That is my last year. Probably this blog will be how I survive for the next two years.....or longer.....Whether we can keep our YouTube channel afloat when we are continents apart. Whether I end up losing it completely or maybe figure out something to take up my time. Either way, this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. Some people think being a young mom is the hardest part. It isn't. Its watching them go away and leave you behind and all you have are memories and scrapbooks and and empty place at the dinner table. I've never cooked for one or two, its always been three or more. I've never had to sit in silence all day because there was no one to talk to. I have no idea what this will look like. I'm pretty sure I really don't want to know. But, ready or not. Here it goes.

Sorry for the delay in my posts!

Well, we were transitioning over to a different format but, after some investigation we decided it was not for us. Then, the election picked up steam and quite honestly, I did not wish to be in a position to state my opinions on some things and decided to take time with my family until a President was in place Here is the thing, he is the president like it or not. He has been inaugurated and now it is time to get to being Americans. We can disagree about policy etc. It all good. I don't have to agree with you and you don't have to agree with me. And that is all I will say on Politics. So, now we are back! A lot has changed since our last posts so I will try to catch you up! Let's pretend this is our crazy Christmas letter, ya know the one that you throw away when you get it in your card? Well, let's see, our student from Vietnam went home. Sad family. Then our student from Italy came for a Month. MISS her now too. Then we got a student from Germany on the same day our Italian student left. She arrived in August. Since we had 2 great students, well, we thought we would get one again, that is not how it worked out. I don't know to this moment if it was just a huge cultural difference or if it was something that happened in September. I mean, I know German people. I have never had an issue with them. So, I really don't see the cultural aspects that could have caused what happened. She refused to pick up after herself, or help around the house. if we started cleaning up after dinner she would get up walk away and disappear. She wouldn't get off her phone and was constantly on social media even though she knew that it was against the rules. She would demand for us to take her places even after we said we only go to Walmart as needed and generally a specific day. She made rude comments about our friends. She was just really rude. I would come home after working a long day and she would say what are you making for dinner. I would usually just ignore it. But then there was the tripling in our water bill, going through a gallon of milk and juice every day, going through a case of toilet paper in one week. That is 16 rolls. Then our plumbing started to back up and she put aluminum foil in the microwave and destroyed it. Overall we are out a bunch of money over this and had to request she be relocated. It was not good. But, she wasn't that aggressive until I got my DNA test back from Anscestry.com. It said that I was part Jewish. She said you go to a Christian church I said, well apparently 5% of me has relatives that were Jewish. Right after that was when it all went nuts. Normally that may not matter, but, she did come from Berlin. So, yeah, we have no idea. Overall I think I am glad that my kid are now too old for us to host anything other than a college age student. I think my family needs some down time. On other news, I actually QUIT MY JOB! I had joined with a company called Mary & Martha (www.mymaryandmartha.com/lynnjansen) and my job kept just changing. I started out doing my job. Then I was doing 2 people's jobs. Then I was doing 3 people's jobs. No extra compensation and no overtime. And then they wanted to add more stuff to my plate. It was not a good situation. I am devoting 100% of my time now to Blogging, Mary & Martha and soon Lularoe! I am so excited about that. We are in the que and with where they are in the que I am expecting to get the call somewhere around the 20th of this month (yes I know that is a Sunday! You can check out our FB page at https://www.facebook.com/LularoePaisleyPanda/ and Periscopy @lularoelynnjansen. Hope to see you soon! We are going to have a blast! Otherwise, things are amazing and wonderful. We have a wonderful church we go to with some seriously amazing people. I am super blessed Be watching on Friday for Faith Fridays and more posts during the weeks to come. I will definitely show you how our Lularoom has been created and what we got etc! So excited! Have a good one. Welcome back! Thank you for coming back or Thank you for joining!

Faith Friday - How do we show our faith?

People talk about faith like it is just a rolling thing that we just do. But no one really takes the time to find out why? Why do we have faith? Why do we believe what we can not see? Why do we not ask why? Is it bad to ask why? Well, here is my thoughts.

We have faith because whether as a child or becoming a Christian you were told faith is believing in what is not seen. For those who are Agnostic or Atheist, they want something solid. They want you to show them proof that can be described no other way but in your heart you feel sure you have faith for a reason. You believe that faith is a requirement of being a Christian and you would be right.

Faith is a belief in things that are unseen and trusting God's word. It is knowing that we don't have the answers. It is trusting that if we fall, we will be caught.

The bible references faith. Faith Of God. Without faith it's impossible to please God (Heb. 11:6). Why would it displease God if we did not have faith? That is a simple answer, without faith, how can you follow his commandments fully. You can not step fulling into your relationship with God if you don't trust him. Faith is truly trust in God and his plan in your life. That plan for your life may not be what you dream or envision, however, it is his plan and not ours that we should trust and follow. This is why Christian's must have faith.

Faith is such an important part of our lives as Christians and yet we so often take it for granted. We say we have faith and we then go about our day and our actions try to impart our own will on our lives. We don't allow God to lead us. We show our lack of faith often and we have to work to maintain our faith. Do we get nervous? Do we get scared? In those moments, we are not trusting that God has a plan. We are not allowing God to work his will onto our lives. Being startled is not the same as being scared. We have to know that no matter what the outcome of a situation, God is in control. I had struggled with this a LOT in my life. I always wanted to know what would be happening in my life, where it was going. I would jump on a opportunity without praying on it. I would have that gut instinct telling me that this was not the right decision and then be sadly correct.

We show our faith by trusting God even when it isn't easy. We have to wake up daily and make a decision to be faithful. When we don't trust God's plan we need to step back and let god lead us.

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Gulf Shores things to do! Cobalt Restaurant Review!

I try to cover different places we go to and see while we are living in our own little paradise! Today I will tell you about our favorite restaurant! (Seriously our favorite!) The restaurant is called Cobalt. It is located just over the bridge in Perdido, Al. First of all you can't beat the view. Seriously beautiful. There is a sand bar just out in the water from the restaurant and during the day you can see boats pulled up and people laying on the sandbar beach. There is also a great little state beach right next door. On the other side is the beautiful Caribe resort. (We are hoping to stay there sometime to really get a full experience).

First of all, the prices are amazing for a resort restaurant. You can get appetizers for about $8 - 10. You can get sushi and our favorite Firecracker shrimp. (SOOO GOOD!) The sushi stack they have has tuna sushimi and layers of avocado and crisp chips with an aioli drizzle on the bottom which is to die for. Seriously good stuff if you like sushi. The firecracker shrimp are popcorn shrimp that are covered in a remoulade sauce that is a little spicy but not so spicy you can't handle it. It has a slow burn spicy that just fills your mouth with amazing flavor. The size of the firecracker shrimp is impressive. Honestly two to three people an easily share this and be satisfied..well except that you don't want to share it because it is so good. We have shared with three and gotten a good amount of shrimp on our plates. They also serve warm bread in a basket with butter. The bread is usually a mixture of white, asiago cheese covered, rye and whole wheat all mixed together. The bread is complimentary.

My favorite drink here is the bushwacker which is a southern alabama favorite. Kind of like a mudslide with some kick. It has amazing flavors and is so yummy! You get your money's worth on a drink here as well! But they also have soda, sweet tea and lots of other options as they do feature a full bar.

Often on the weekends, you can hear a band play while you eat on the outside eating area and enjoy watching the boats go by and the sunset off in the distance. A nice gulf breeze will keep you comfy while you look at the amazing display they have outside which includes fire places and waterfalls. It seriously feels like a 5 star high end expensive restaurant. My favorite food is the Shrimp Po Boy it comes with fries and coleslaw as well as a pickle slice. All of that for just $10! Seriously just $10. We have also tried the Cobalt Burger which is a great bison burger with blue cheese on it. It is my sons favorite meal. That runs about $12 (seriously). You can get a fish of the day dinner which generally runs in the mid $20s for pricing to high depending on the fish of the day. That is the most expensive food but, that being said, you get 2 sides and amazing food. It is still much lower than going to most restaurants. Overall you will get a high class meal for a regular family restaurant price.

The dress code is casual. You will have people going out on their first dates and people celebrating birthdays or just people who spent the day at the beach and want a nice meal. You will see shorts and tees to full dress up and everything in between. It really is a must go to restaurant. If you haven't been, well then you just have to come to Alabama gulf shores and Go!

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The Political Arena

I very much have tried to stay open minded through this entire year of fighting and mudslinging which is known as an election year. I was open to hearing every side out and pick the best person to put in the Whitehouse. The job of president is NOT without amazing stress and amazing required determination. The person who lives in that house must put America first. I have watched as the president,which I voted for 8 years ago, went from a man I believed could make a change for parts of our society that desperately needed a voice failed over and over again. I believed him when he said that we needed to be one america. I have watched while he depleted our military to a point where we are now beatable. I watched while he stood up for illegal immigrants and while he failed my African american brothers and sisters. I have friends who still think he is the best president ever but none of them are low income, none of them have a job that doesn't offer insurance so they have never tried to navigate. Because I work in the medical field, I have seen these people daily in my life. Interacted with them and heard their stories.

Now, getting to the final 2. I don't appreciate listening to people calling people who support the other party names. Hillary's comment of people being a 'basket deplorables' Previously, Mitt Romney had referenced how 47 percent of america didn't matter. Obama stated that the people in the rural areas had a regrettable attachment to God and guns. I also take issue with calling people racist.

I will preface my comments on here that I am still investigating third party options I have not decided and may not decide until I walk into that voting booth but I see some glaring issues that just have me definitely against one person which yes, I know makes this a dangerous post and one that could get me in trouble with some of my readers. But, the great part about America you can either respect that fact that I am practicing my rights to free speech or you can attack me out of anger because I don't agree with you (check my next post about that topic).

Hillary Clinton has called Trump a racist over his desire to review who is here illegally and deport most if not all of them. The first misconception of this is that all illegal immigrants are Mexican or Hispanic. 40% of illegal immigrants are NOT Hispanic at all. In 2005, there were 11 million undocumented immigrants and 6.5 of those were Hispanic. That leaves 4.5 million people in the US who are not Hispanic and NOT legal. Trump realizes this and knows that all of these people need to follow the same rules that everyone else who comes to our country follows. You see while these people are overstaying their Visas or sneaking over the boarder, thousands of people are waiting to be able to come here the legal way. They have gotten a sponsor, they have worked on having the funds to support themselves for at least 6 months once they get here etc. etc. Why should we disrespect those who come from other countries with a dream and do it the right way and give it over to people who want to sneak in or just not go home like they were supposed to. So calling someone racist because 'all immigrants are Hispanic' is actually the racist belief. I will address immigration in a further blog but I wanted to touch on this.

Hillary has asked us to believe (a few days ago) that she received no training in how to handle classified information. She was a first lady and a senator and a Secretary of State. As a military mother and previously a military spouse I was trained in what is considered classified. It was drilled in our head. There is NO WAY that she wasn't shown. But then fast forward 3 days to the presidential interviews with Matt Lauer. She then talked about how she was trained and knew the difference. Which is it? We all know she knew what was classified and instead of saying I screwed up she is still saying she did nothing wrong. She lied and said her daughter erased the server. Then it comes out her attorney team did it with a program they knew would completely wipe the emails forever.

There is no way I can vote for Hillary. Not withstanding her past history of lies and being fired from jobs for being unethical, her stance so far during this election is that she has lied over and over again and thinks the american people are just stupid. Sadly I have seen many people who are. They believe her lies, they excuse when she is caught and they see her do no wrong. I am not sure where they are coming from or how they can overlook the outright deception of this candidate.

Hillary's team has accused Trump supporters of being violent etc etc. The only people I see being aggressive and being keyboard warriors attacking others are Hillary Supporters. They did it to Bernie Supporters and they have done it to supporters of anyone but their candidate. The only people I show getting in other people's faces and yelling are Hillary supporters.

I also have a major issue with her views on Guns, Immigration (IE we can't just bring in immigrants of any culture who are not properly vetted and an open door policy is a death sentence for many Americans) and her abortion up to 30 weeks, is not even something I will address further, but I do not agree.

Now you have the concerns about her health. I have seen some of the videos showing her being unsteady, falling, tremors etc. Yesterday she collapsed and I watched tremors before she went down. There is more that is going on than 'Pneumonia". Yes Pneumonia can give you a larger chance at being dehydrated. That being said, that was not what I saw. The only reason you would hide a condition is if it is something that would make her ineligible. My concern is this, is she so set on winning over anything else that she would risk our country due to her medical condition. Would she put us at risk because she could be in another country and collapse, or have a brain issue that makes her not make appropriate decisions and she could risk us all? I don't think I am at all OK with this. So for me Hillary is definitely out. I will be reviewing other candidates on here such as Stein and Johnson as well. I am definitely interested in one of these candidates and I will explain why soon. This is a 4 part weekly blog to review the political arena and our options.

Make sure you follow me for updates! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Southern-Yankee-Blogging-414162468673211/ Snapchat: lynn74 Instagram: Lynnmjansen

What is our country coming to?

So, lately I have been watching as our country seriously LOSES ITS MIND! And I am beyond worries. You see in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 there is some very clear verbiage regarding end of days. "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people." I look at he news, I look on social media, I look at people and I see all of these things coming to pass. I wonder, is it possible to change these things? Can we save our people? I don't know if we can. It is like this lust for things and desires versus what is right has overtaken our country.

I have never seen such foul mouthed, Unappreciative, conceited people as I have. We have famous singers claiming to be Jesus, inciting violence and people saying it should be ok to have an abortion at 36 weeks pregnant? OMG. This has seriously got to be a joke or a bad dream I am going to wake up from. Before anyone jumps on me, I am not judging people. I am judging the judgement of our government and our culture. The culture as a whole has become about how much does an item cost. What name is on that item? Oh your purse is from Charming Charlies...that's cute, mine is from Michael Kors. Who cares. My purse is going to last as long as yours does. Just like any item it depends on how you take care of it. I don't care if you have a Volvo in your driveway. So don't tell me how much better than my car yours is. Love of money.....everyone wants to be a millionaire. Why? I want to pay my bills. Period.

If I won the lottery you can bet one thing, I'd be shocked cuz we don't play and not because we live in Alabama we just don't use our money for that. Have we yes. We have purchased a ticket for a huge jackpot. Mainly because someone once said to me well if you are willing to lose your money and you aren't planning on winning then it really isn't gambling is it. Yes potato potahtoh. But once or twice we have said well shoot if God wants us to have that money one ticket will win it. We don't go spending hundreds of bucks on tickets. We get 1. And that hasn't been much in the last 5 years. I don't buy scratch offs etc. But even if we won we know exactly what we would do. We have our dream plan if we had the money. I can tell you there would be top of the line care for homeless people. Whether it be drug treatment, mental health or just plain old medical care. Fully paid for. There would be families who didn't have to worry about groceries who live on that line of barely making it and not qualifying for services. The list is heck of a long list of things we would do. I'd love to find families struggling and pay off their Christmas Lay Away. Yes it would be amazing. I'd love to support missionaries around the world and fund church plants. I could go on and on. That being said, we know that those dreams, although great would probably never happen but it is nice to dream of making a difference.

What I see on TV is more and more of our youth of all colors and creeds choosing a life of drugs, drug dealing, gang banging and robbing. I see more people saying you can have your own opinion as long as it agrees with mine. I see people putting people like the Kardashians on a pedestal when they have done nothing to help society. A sex tape doesn't help society and neither does surgery to change who you are. I'm tired of people looking down on single parents and not being mad as heck at the other parent who walked away and didn't help that family they left behind. Im' tired of seeing people being hateful towards each other and calling each other names that have nothing to do with who that person is. Why is this happening and why are we ok with it. Why is the Whitehouse hosting Muslim prayers but deciding to no lnoger host other prayer groups to pray on property? Why are the Muslim tenants being taught in schools where they are not allowed to teach about Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism etc. Why are some groups being given carte blanche to do or say whatever they want even including the pain and hurt to others.

Recently, a major news group said that when Trump says we need to put America First, its Nazism. How is that? Why aren't we taking care of our own hungry, our own homeless? I get it we have always helped other people, but we have never been this much in crisis in our country before and we have to stop and fix us before we can fix anyone else. Mexico says it is not ok for us to build a wall, however, they do have wall built between themselves and Guatemala to delay people coming into their country and they have some of the strictest immigration laws in the world. But if we enforce ours we are bullies. I just don't get it. Its about stopping the bleeding in our country. I can tell you right now, I know a few people who if given the option of working on a farm gathering fruit and that would include a free place to stay and a stipend of money weekly they would jump on the chance. There are lots of people who are homeless because even though they work hard, they can't afford to live where they are. What if they had that opportunity. Put them on buses and relocate them to the job and tada workforce created where supposedly there isn't one. There are ways to fix some of the issues here, there are ways to help our vets, our homeless, our mentally ill etc. And spending our money helping other countries may not be the right answer right now. Maybe we need to pull back for a time to fix things. Kind of like when you get a divorce. You have to work on you and get good with you before you will be any good to anyone else.

I don't know who I will vote for. I am not claiming to be on anyone's side but I don't think someone saying we need to fix our country sees the problems. Someone saying there is nothing to fix we rock....is blind as a bat.

Faith Fridays - Judgement of Grief

With the passing of Prince, I really had no intention of doing anything about his death etc. Then I saw the posts. There were people posting, oh, great you can grieve for someone because they are famous but not for our dying soldiers. You can grieve for someone famous but not the people who died in XYZ. I saw all kind of situations that have happened. Personally, I feel like that is a bunch of bologna. Yes, probably not the right word. Let me tell you why people grieve for specifically Prince. I'm not going to lie, other famous people died and I reacted with oh that's sad. I didn't have to take a moment to think about them like I did Prince.

Let me start with all the people who said, "Seriously on Faith Friday?" Prince is an icon. Prince has never had a lawsuit against him, he has never been arrested. Yes he was different but that man was seriously comfortable with who he was. He was also raised a Christian and died a Jehovah's Witness. Although many people don't consider Jehovah's Witness to be Christian, they do believe in Jesus and God and they by definition do try to be more Christ like thus making them a form of Christianity. People connect with Prince because he is not ashamed of who he is. He does have sexual tones in his videos and some of his music was yes over the top not acceptable. But he himself admits some of his music occurred when he had fallen away. Have you never fallen away? Have you never sinned or made bad choices? Just as a litmus, are you wearing white cotton? If the answer is no congrats you have a sin! Sorry its the easiest one to pull because some people have done great at avoiding the other ones. You also aren't supposed to eat pork because it has a cloven hoof and doesn't chew its own cud. That being said, we have all screwed up. God still loves us.

But I ask you now, have you ever read his lyrics? Let me give you a few to read. For copyright reasons I can't just transfer them over here, however, that being said, I can give you some lyrics to look up. Here is a list of lyrics that might make you see the man behind the music.
- I Would Die 4 You
- The Ladder
- The Cross
- I Wish You Heaven
- 7
- And God Created Woman

This is a short list. But that being said there are many more. 7 is a little less obvious than the others...but what do you know about the bible that is 7. How do we fight the 7 deadly sins. We use our minds and what we have learned with our bible and we use our ability to avoid thing. Now if you are going to watch all 7 fall because they stand in the way of love....what love? Gods love. If you look at 7 the way it is meant, the whole song...has a great connective story.

For me personally, I wish I could say that my connection with prince was completely because of these songs. For me music has always had a connection to my life. I can hear a song and know I danced with this boy for the first time. I was listening to that song during my first breakup or I listen to that song EVERY TIME I am upset. No I wasn't saved when I used to listen to prince and wear out cassette tapes (yup I'm that old). I did however, recognize the meaning between his songs that were Christian based. I heard the word and I got the point. I honestly adore listening to prince and listening to some of his songs even now. There are many of them if you listen to the words you get the point. We all have sin. We all make mistakes. But this man connected with people's lives in a way that no other artist since maybe Elvis really has. Everyone knows who Prince is. Yes there is Michael Jackson but look at all of his legal troubles and accusations. Some people liked David Bowie but he was a like him or hate him performer. I liked him but I didn't listen to him like I listened to Prince.

Maybe just maybe this is a sign that at the end of the day, you don't really know someone's soul. You can refuse to listen to a song because that one song has stuff in it you don't want put into your mind. I get that. I do that daily. I make my own CDs of music I already own so I can listen to what I want to. But don't rule out an entire person because of one bad thing or 50 bad things. There is usually still something good inside that person. And if you give up, who will ever see it. Ultimately, I know some people who read this, probably most, won't look up the lyrics to these songs. Some may already know this information. But those who didn't and do. You may have a whole new outlook on this performer.

I also ask that since you are reading this....you step up and look at the people you judge. Do you look for that mustard seed inside of them? That thing that God has given them that makes them special? Or do you decide that because you don't agree with something they are or something they do that you have some right to push them aside. Things we are and things we do.....they don't determine what we are to God. We are all God's children. God has asked us to look at the world as children. What would a child say about someone different. Would they not talk to them. And if you say no they wouldn't, is that because they wouldn't want to or because their parent told them not to. God has never told us not to. Just a thought.

Have a blessed day.

Mystery Tacklebox Review - Unboxing - April Box

My husband is an avid fisherman. I like to get my hook wet but I am not as obsessed as he is. I quite often give my husband a hard time about all of his fishing gear that rarely ends up with him bringing home a fish. Not that he doesn't catch them but he won't keep them if he doesn't have enough for everyone to have dinner that night. (He still hasn't gotten the concept that we can freeze them and then when we have enough make them for dinner). But its all good. He has a good time. I think the only time I could have strangled him was when he caught a HUGE sting ray and he let it go. I was all ready. I had the videos on how to clean them and recipes ready for a few meals. He came home empty handed and I was heartbroken. I was so excited to try the new dishes. But, its all good in the end. He has photos of that big sting ray and he had a blast reeling it in.

Living where we do in Alabama it leads to a lot of different sorts of fishing. Both salt, brackish and fresh are all available within a short drive in a direction. Kind of makes it fun. But it also means we have to have something for each kind of fishing and each kind of fish. This year his goal is a shark, a sheephead and a red. I think he just wants a sheephead so he can see their teeth. They have human like teeth which is kind of cool. Well enough about the kind of fish we go for. I'm reviewing a monthly box!

Mystery tackle box is great. You pick your fishing type. The species in the monthly box that is $15 per month is Bass, Inshore Saltwater, Walleye, Panfish, Catfish and trout. If you get the $25 box, it is only available in Bass. With the $15 box you can change your fish type monthly and get a variety of tackle. Really a great deal overall. This month, we got trout.

With your box you get a couple of cards that list the items included in your box and their retail value. Those are always right on top. You also get a little booklet with fishing tips and tricks. Downside those always seem to be bass related. We would love it changed with the type of fishing gear you are receiving that month. But I digress, overall it isn't that important.

The most fun part is removing those and seeing all of the goodies inside! We got a lot of great items. We received a new tackle called the Hurt. Love that this one says it dives in the water and is a crank bait. We also got Krill Bait and Biopro eggs. Because of where we live a favorite is the Mayfly larva. Something that our fish are used to seeing during certain times of the year. We also got a float and some worms that are all in chinese or japanese...and a Diamond Dazzler that looks like a lot of fun to use.

Overall value of this box was $25.93 for everything retail priced and we got it for $15. So we saved $8. Now the one thing is you may never have picked up these items yourself in the store, so there is always a chance. That being said, my husband has had great luck trying some of these items he would never have tried out without having the opportunity with these boxes. We have gotten quite a few items that have really made him very happy with the quality and the response of the fish and he will go find more or order them directly from the site if he can't find them locally. We honestly highly suggest this box. We did not receive any discounts, this is just a box we have delivered monthly that we thought you might enjoy! I am including photos of the items received. I believe you can also order the items straight from the site without having a subscription box. So you too can have any of these items if they look like something you would enjoy! Happy fishing. And remember, if you always caught something, they would call it catching!

Faith Friday - Bound by Bitterness

God is good every day. Every day God is good. Easy to say sometimes hard to believe. Bad things happen around the world every day. When something bad happens to you, it is very easy to let bitterness creep into your heart and break your spirit. But you always must remember God is with you in those moments. Psalms 34:18 says "God is close to the broken-hearted. He heals those who's spirits are crushed." It is human nature to be upset when a relationship ends. If you trust in God's plan in your life, then you have to believe that this is a moment of change in your life. A new season to begin in your path.

I have had romantic relationships end as well as friendships in my life. I have been so broken from the ending of these that I have been inconsolable. That being said, those moments were before I really had a relationship with God that was healthy. (Yeah I was one of those people who would question EVERYTHING about God's plan for me.) So often I find myself telling people that are struggling to read the bible because the answers are there. God's word is the one thing in our lives that will NEVER change! And by never, I mean not from the day you are born to the day you finally see him face to face.

And another dies in the bitterness of his soul, and never eats with pleasure. Job 21:25 Can you imagine letting your faith fall from bitterness so much that your soul is dead? Have you ever felt this way. Helpless, lost and you pray and feel like you are praying in silence. You aren't alone, you have separated yourself from God through lack of faith. Bitterness is a form of lack of faith. You are not trusting God's plan for you. People come into your life for a reason. Some come for a long time and some just for a season. There is a reason they are taken from you. Bu the one thing you can never forget is that God has a plan for you. Even if that plan doesn't line up with what you want, there is a plan.

But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. James 3:14. Envy, bitterness and strife are NOT of God. They are the seen by many as a form of sin in that you are letting the devil into your heart. God would never make you feel this way. God would never wish you to feel pain. God wants you to live abundantly and full of joy. Any negative feeling or thought is not of God and only you can pull your faith together and get where you need to be. Its about how you think. Its all about your attitude.

Can you change how you think? How about when you break up with someone or they break up with you or a friend decides that they no longer want to be tied to you. Initially you feel hurt. You feel pain. You may cry. You may get angry. You will be sad. But in that moment the best place you can go is to God. Ask him to lift you from this pain. Reaffirm your commitment to him and know that there is a plan and that you trust his path. You will find comfort in this. The best thing you can do after that is pray for the person that has left your life. Pray for them to find amazing happiness. Pray that they find their path in this world and that they will receive the love and grace of God. Pray that they find all of the happiness in the world. I know it is so much easier to take the path of anger and bitterness, but as a child of God.....you MUST not follow that path. That is not the path of a Christ follower. Follow the word in the book. Forgive and move forward. Do not give them a place in your heart and your soul by holding onto anger and bitterness. Give yourself freedom.

What is coming! Man has my email been full!

So, I like to try to keep you guys up to date on what is coming up! Obviously I do my Monday topical post, We have Writer Wednesdays and We have Faith Fridays! Well now, we can be very excited about the fact that I have been getting a lot of opportunities to look into some great products for you! Some products I have coming for some upcoming features:

So, first of all I have some great dorm room solutions coming up! Everyone who has a high school senior and is trying to figure out what they might be able to use to maximize some space in the tiny dorm rooms! My daughter will be giving some info on items she found VERY helpful when she was in a small dorm room as well! Great planning for college blog.

Do you love fun products! What about water bottles! We have a great one we will be reviewing. This water bottle has a bluetooth speaker and lights up and MORE! Yes I said MORE! Its a very fund and useful water bottle I can't wait to share the information with you about this great product!

I have also received some requests from sellers to review some other great products a few funny glasses, trunk organizer, a bluetooth product hat lets you lock your computer remotely AND MORE! Yes the reviews are coming in and YOU will be the first to get to see these awesome items! If you have some sort of topic you would like me to review, please feel free to reach out to me on facebook or through my email. We are always looking for new and interesting items to review!

So what kind of items do we review. Almost anything (Except adult products we like to keep our family pages family friendly). Between the group of us, my kids are into video games, baking and makeup. Myself I am into anything crafting (soap making, scrapbooking, cardmaking, crocheting etc.) as well as baking, gardening, reading, anything faith based. My husband is an outdoorsman. He fishes, kayaks, hunts even has a mini cannon (yes that is FUN!). So pretty much all products will be intriguing to someone in our home! We host exchange students and love products and things from around the world! So you never know what you will end up seeing on this page!

Writer Wednesday - Not a writer but a great program to find new writers!

Have you heard of a page called Kindle Scout? It is a great program really. Basically writers can feature their books on there. They give you a synopsis of the story. They tell you about the plot, the characters and the story line in detail. You get a feel for the book. There are lots of books to look through and you can pick three to nominate to be selected to be available to shoppers in the Kindle Store. The page describes the process as follows: "Kindle Scout is reader-powered publishing for new, never-before-published books. It’s a place where readers help decide if a book gets published. Selected books will be published by Kindle Press and receive 5-year renewable terms, a $1,500 advance, 50% eBook royalty rate, easy rights reversions and featured Amazon marketing." (kindlescout.amazon.about)

So if you are like me...you are thinking ok and why do I care....well let me tell you why! You care because if the book you nominate gets selected to be available you get a FREE COPY! So that book that intrigued you can be yours for free just by nominating it. As your selections are pulled after 30 days for nominations they are then reviewed for number of nominations. The winning nominated books are then decided. Then if one you nominated is released you get a free copy! This really works best if there are a lot of people using this program. Great books and great writers get a voice in the market by your nomination. (You really have more direct say than the current elections it seems).

Are you a writer? Are you tired of getting the letter saying, No sorry, not interested in your story but everyone tells you its great! Well worry no more. You now can be a published author! Follow the submission checklist. Submit your book to Kindle Scout. Agree to the publishing agreement and then get ready to launch. Once it launches, share with your friends and family. Have them share. And then also make sure your description of your book is intriguing so that people like me will find it that way too and you too may be a published author with a great publishing deal. Just so you know the process of getting your book on Kindle Scout can take up to 45 days!

So for you readers, this is a great program and really helps aspring writers and readers that love new books and are on a budget! Check it out today. Just go to and start reading TODAY!

Personal Accountability - Has anyone seen it? It is missing!

On April 14, 2016, a judge in Connecticut ruled that a lawsuit can go forward placed by families of the Sandy Hook victims against the maker of the gun that killed a number of children and adults in the shooting there. I am absolutely in shock that this is being allowed. I am, for one, personally over the lack of accountability that this country has come to. He stated in his answer to the request the following information: The maker knew or should have known that their weapon would be used in a way that may injure a person or persons.

Reality yes guns can be used to kill someone. So can knives, rope, toothpicks, forks, toothbrushes(see somewhere online about how to make a prison shank) etc. Really any item can be used to kill someone and this is common knowledge. It is a tragedy that 20 children and 6 teachers were killed that day. It is really heartbreaking that families had to endure that in 2012. Just like my family dealt with the loss of an amazing friend in the shootings at the Aurora theater. They are indeed tragedies, however, the finger is pointing in the wrong place.

From my research it appears that approximately 20% of all guns made in the US have AR15 patterns. Now, that being said. There are approximately 100 million rifles owned in the united states. 20-30 million of those would be considered Assault Rifles. 99% of those owners of the 'Assault Style Weapons' owned other weapons previous to the purchase of this gun. Almost half of the people who own these guns have previous Military or Police Experience.

If anyone is crying but these aren't for hunting you are right. Sometimes people just like to blow stuff up. We had a friend, when we lived in IL, who was a former marine. He served to help train the local PD at the time in their training etc. He also did crime scene work as well. He had a gun that would be considered in this family of weapons. He actually probably had more. He had land and he would buy these canisters of Tannerite and set up 'practice runs' for ideas for training police officers and such. He liked to have fun and would apply the Tannerite to targets for an easier way to tell when shot etc. He only shot his weapon there. When not in use the guns are always locked up. Most weapon owners are diligent if not obsessive with the safety of their family and the security of their weapons.

There is a large gap in the mental health system of this country. Let's just take Connecticut for example. Since Malloy took office in 2011. It is really not even questionable that his budget cuts have left an already struggling mental health system in Connecticut even more broken. As recent as 2016, Malloy has requested MORE cuts that will cut back availability of the services that people with mental health issues have available. What this means is when parents struggle (as did the mother of the shooter in Sandy Hook) to get help for their child, they will be told over and over again no. They will be put on waiting lists for help. They will be ignored.

Instead of suing gun makers, these families should be suing the state to provide proper mental health care. They should be requiring these different organizations to be making less hoops for parents in need of help for their children to find that help. We also need to start cracking down on the guns on the street that are owned by criminals. There are laws in place to help with this one, however, no resources are being used to start doing this crackdown. We can all agree that a sane person doesn't gun down children. But, there is also many documents that show this mom tried desperately to get her son help and was turned away. The change that needs to happen is not gun makers it is our medical system.

Faith Friday - Forgiveness

Usually someone we don't know can't cause a hurt that needs forgiveness. But, it can happen. The hurt that cuts the deepest is when a friend or family member hurts us. We allow ourselves to trust these people in our lives so when they let us down, it just cuts us to the bone. It distances us from others and it makes our faith walk a little bit harder.

I am not perfect. I have had people hurt me very badly and I had a lot of them that I thought I had forgiven but during a recent class I am taking through church called LIFE, I found that some of those I had 'forgiven' was not full forgiveness and I had lied to myself. After some deep and thorough reflection, I found feelings that were hidden within me. I had been denying hurt that I was holding onto. This worked into my daily reactions to events and people. It was taking away from my ability to really truly experience my life and my faith.

Below are some verses that talk about how God wants us to forgive others. It isn't easy but it is something that we as Christians need to do. Some people find writing down what someone did and acknowledging our feelings and making a decision to let it go. Some people then burn the hurt to make it go away. Now i am the first person who will tell you that I did not used to do the give it to God thing well. I still struggle with it from time to time, however, with forgiving others, I sincerely have found a great path to that by just saying to God, it is your will that I forgive and I give this pain to you. It has seriously helped me!

The first verse is Collossians 3:13 - Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

God has forgiven all of us. He gave his only begotten sons life for our sins. Would you allow your son or daughter to die to save someone else? Could you love someone else so much that you would be willing to do that? As a human, I can not say that I would so his strength is more than me. I have found peace in this thought. But that same strength that I find in the love and forgiveness of God.....tells me I must forgive others.

The second verse is Matthew 18:21 & 22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' answered Jesus, 'but seventy times seven.'

Jesus tells Peter in this verse to continue to forgive. He technically says 490 times, however, all of the other verses show the never ending forgiveness of God is what we should show to others.

One of my favorite verses...the Third Verse is Ephesians 2:4 & 5 - But God's mercy is so abundant, and his love for us is so great, that while we were spiritually dead in our disobedience he brought us to life with Christ. It is by God's grace that you have been saved.

I have been saved by Gods Grace. He has given me infinitely more mercy than I have ever earned. In that same love (recall Jesus said, By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another in John 13:35.) we must forgive others.

In Luke 23:34, Jesus showed us that even in that moment of desperation, Forgiveness is the required response. Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Jesus was dying for our sins and he asked God to forgive those gambling to take his clothing. He could have said no that's my stuff stop. He could have said, ' look at these people, I'm not even dead and they are divvying up my stuff! He didn't. He asked for forgiveness for their actions.

In that he loved us we were forgiven. In that he loves us, we must forgive. Don't forget. Getting angry is human. Feeling pain and betrayal is human. Forgiving is divine.

My challenge for you this week is to make a decision to cast lots or to forgive. If you choose to forgive feel free to post why you forgave someone. What they did. Let me pray for you that you can maintain your freedom. Take your faith to a new level. Open your heart larger to let others inside. No longer be a prisoner to anger and resentment and let love fill you instead.

Have a blessed week!

Personal time off has given me a new mission...

So I have seriously tried to take some time off to get myself good. I found that on my blog I had no form, no plans and it was kind of winging past. I have finally stood up and said What is MY VOICE! Well this is what you will find with the new and improved blog.
#1 You can follow me on Google Plus. I am not doing an email because, well, lets be honest do you really read those emails telling you someone posted another blog link. On Google Plus my updates will load in your feed. Or you can just be awesome and check back frequently for updates.
#2. I have a plan. Most of the week will be random we will be posting a Vlog post weekly on our new Vlog site and I will write a coordinating blog post which will correlate with the release of the Vlog. So links to things etc. Now, that being said, I recently found out that writers have a really hard time being seen. I will be doing Writer Wednesday. Featuring a book that I have read. Hoping to find some through referrals (feel free to email me if you are a writer.) I will also be doing Faith Fridays. I am a Christian. I may discuss non Christian Religious issues as well. Depends on what is important at the time or on my mind. Again if you want me to research a topic please feel free to email me.
#3 I am going to be faithful. I have had a very hard time with changing jobs and working 50 to 60 hours per week and trying to sleep and be with my family to be able to maintain my blog. There has been a lot in the last year that has really gotten in the way of me being faithful to my blog. Even though my blog is important to me it falls down the line after my family, my faith and my job. I am currently not working. I walked away from my job in the hopes that I can find something part time that will bring in what we need for extra money and then not have to give up what else is important to me.
#4 You can see me in other places too!
Follow me
Twitter @lynninco on twitter
Snapchat lynn74
instagram: lynnmjansen
Pinterest: Visit Lynn's profile on Pinterest.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Southern-Yankee-Blogging-414162468673211/

If you have any products, books, etc you want me to review and you are the 'owner' of this company or writer of the book feel free to message me through the Facebook link.

You have a great and blessed day. And can't wait to show you so much more!

When you have church hurt......

I know not everyone that reads my blog is a Christian and not everyone has had Church hurt. But, it is a topic that I think needs to be addressed more with Christians. So often, we are quick to say well this person said this and they are this at church. You are putting yourself in a place of judgement or a place of victimization that allows you to give up what is most

I think the first thing to make very clear. All too often we put our faith in people not God. We struggle to keep our faith because people let us down. If you lose faith because you are hurt by a church, then your faith was not in God, it was in people. That is a very important differentiation to make. I have been church hurt before but I have never let it affect my faith. I very clearly saw the difference between the 'fake Christians' and 'self proclaimed Christians'. My church hurt has never affected my faith. It has never caused me to question my faith. It has, however, made me question the faith of others.

You see, yes you have a pastor, you have people who operate in different areas of the church but not a single one of them is a perfect person. Not a single one of them is Jesus. If you have questions and you seek help and you don't feel like the members of your church are giving you the guidance you need that is because all the guidance with your faith you need is already available to you in the bible. There are many concordance options available online or in book form that can help you find guidance. Granted there are times when you definitely need a little more human support but it is truly support not guidance you are seeking. There is a huge difference.

Many times, you will hear those who have been church hurt referred to as the Walking Wounded. It's true they are wounded. They are hurt. Their emotions, their stability, their world has been changed. Why is this more painful than other hurt from people. Well, probably because when you go to church you go to be part of a community. You go to share your love for God. You let yourself be completely vulnerable in those moments in order to let god teach you by listening to sermons and talking about your life. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable a human can break your heart and it will hurt worse than a stranger yelling at you telling you that you are ugly etc.

My church hurt story. I have actually been church hurt more than one time. But I will speak on my most recent time. We moved to a new home, it was far away from friends and family. We knew basically no one. We went to a church recommended by our realtor. She said she loved it. We did too! We loved the people and we loved the sermons. My husband actually went forward and gave himself to God and was saved in that church and baptized. We truly loved the church. There were weird things that we started noticing as people got 'comfortable' around us. Comments about someone who had brought someone who was gay into the church. And how the pastor wouldn't agree to baptize them if they came forward because they are gay. Being told that they absolutely can judge other people. That it says in the bible you can judge the fruit of the tree. I was told that I was absolutely wrong to believe that God would want us to love everyone without fail and let God do the final judgement for sins. I started finding these types of comments over and over.

Then the next thing happened. My son had moved home after being injured in the military. He was having some transition issues. He came home in March. I asked the pastor to meet with him and there was no contact. I asked him 10 times in the course of time between March 6 and July 4th. I gave him my sons number 5 times. He was at our home for my daughter's birthday and never said a word to him. He never met with my son. We were dealing with a young man who had lost faith while in the Army due to events that happened. I begged this pastor as a former military person and a pastor to reach out to my son. What I was doing was not working. 2 weeks after 4th of July, I had vented to someone else that went to our church and it got back to him immediately (so much for venting to a friend) His response was to tell my son "I said I'd get to you after the fourth of July and I am. Ball is in your court. What kind of supportive message is that? Also during this time I was struggling. They stated they needed someone to work with Worship team and in the office.I had volunteered to work for free to prove myself and was ignored. I have many years of performance experience and love worship music and have a number of worship leader friends. I was told by someone else, well you can't be a worship leader silly you are a woman. Say what? Shortly after that commentary and after they flew in three families who all turned down the position for the man to run the worship and his wife to work in the office. The church was hit by lightening, not once but twice. What do you think the lightening took out? Their office equipment and music equipment. That being said between those events and his response to my son who desperately needed his support we left.

I was absolutely church hurt. But I clearly could see it was the man not God who failed me. Sadly when I had tried to talk to him about it he said never put your faith in man, man will always let you down. Although true, his actions were not actions of a man of God. We struggled, we prayed we begged God for guidance. We were finally led where we belonged. Is it perfect? Heck no.....It is not perfect. It has learning curves. But, it is good. It is better. And my son is back in the fold. He loves that this church in no way expects you to be perfect. They don't judge where you are at in your path, they just love you for who you are.

Churches were never meant for saints. They were always meant to be hospitals for the broken. If you have been church hurt. Do not give up your faith. God did not do this. Man did. Always remember somewhere out there is a place you can worship and be loved. Just like any relationship it sometimes takes time to find the right one. And you may kiss some frogs before you have the experience you are looking for.

God Bless and prayers go out to anyone who has been Church Hurt that if you have not yet found your way home, you will take this as a sign to pray for a guiding light from God. He loves you in your broken form. A solid object has tobe cracked to let the light inside.

Political Time!

Journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. A common you can do this phrase actually is true. But it is the first step in 2,000,000 steps. Now that is a huge number. So many of us look at that step and say I will never walk 1000 miles. It won't happen. It is suggest you walk 10,000 steps per day for healthy living. Did you know to walk 1000 miles in a year you only have to walk 5,479ish steps a day (its .5 at the end). At the age of 23ish I started having sever allergies to things. At the time, no one bothered to allergy test me because I was a military wife and we had no idea where to start. My reactions were sever (ie ER visit severe) but nothing seemed to match up with what the common allergen was. I spent year (literally years) on and of and on and off steroids to try to stay off reactions. In the meantime my body was also having swelling due to constant exposure to allergens. I heard a Tv host make fun of someone who said their weight started when they got bit by a spider. A spider bite was my first reaction. It caused my body to develop other allergies and also caused issues with my immune system that are permanent. I wish I could say I am fat because I eat all kinds of junk food. Then I could just stop. It isn't that. I actually don't eat enough. I don't get hungry I forget to eat and in the past have gone 2 or three days where I maybe had a sandwich all day and that was it. God forbid my kids weren't around to remind me they were hungry. Seriously. You don't know every overweight person story. You don't know what they have been through and you don't know that they eat all kinds of junk food. We don't go to the buffets because when I do I get one plate and I am full. I can't eat more even if I want to and I won't spend $14 on dinner to get one plate of food. My favorite foods are raw carrots and steamed broccoli and salad. Seriously that is my favorite. I don't like chocolate, cookies or candy really. If I am having chocolate its time for you to run because it is PMS. I tried to be on the biggest loser. I thought it would save my life. They told me my food allergies were a liability. See one of my food allergies is Citrus. I can't even touch it or breath it. I will get anaphylactic. I couldn't believe it. I was mortified that even the Biggest Loser was saying I wasn't worth losing weight. That was 2010. Fast forward it is now 2012. I am watching youtube. I see this video. I am in tears by the end of it. I check out the site this program is on and it is expensive. I am a single mom, I am just making ends meet with no child support coming in and there is just no way I can free up that money. It isn't going to happen. I thought about writing to DDP and saying hey, um any chance you could like sponsor me a copy but I didn't. Yes I was too proud. Who knows maybe he would have jumped in and said sure. But, I wasn't going to ask. Here is the first video I saw. Early in 2015 I was in the middle of a move and I saw a second video. I was like I want this so bad but we were in the midst of a move, didn't have a date for our permanent address. Tons wrong with ordering anything online. Then I wasn't working for 6 months. To say money was tight would be the understatement of the century. Then my son moved home, we got an exchange student, I started working, I was working A LOT then that job ended up a nightmare because I was bullied because of my weight. So I left that job because corporate said they were working on it but the bullying was BAD! So then another month or so with no income before I started training to work from home. Good because no commute bad because no interaction and I don't leave my room basically. Anyhow, I backburnered myself like so many moms do. Here is the second video: I knew this was what I needed. I knew it but, no way to afford it when playing mad catch up. Recently, my dad came to visit. I showed him one of the videos after he was showing me a workout he does that is hip hop and I explained that with my back issues something like that wouldn't work. Well he ordered me the DDP set. So sweet of him and I am forever greatful. Well a girl never wants to let her dad down so...lets be honest I don't want to let myself down. I have dreamed of this opportunity for like 2 plus years now and now it sits in front of me. I will not give my starting weight until I get close to my goal or hit a marker where I am comfortable telling that information. But, when I do I am hoping people will be excited for me! It is obvious I am over 200 lbs. So that is a no brainer. So the journey of 1000 miles is starting. First step is on the ground. It is time to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!! DDP I am ready to rumble. You have lots of videos of men. Its time for a video of a woman doing it in 12 months! 100 lbs. Oh and I am 9 days in to 2016 so I will need a few more steps a day. I am doing 1 virtual 5k per month so I need to get signed up and owrk out one so that i an get a medal. Best reward ever!